Customer Reviews (2)

Love These Books!
My daughter (age 9) was recommended these books after taking an Etiquette class. We ordered just about all the SMART GIRLS Books. My daughter saw this book and asked for it specifically. Her father and I are divorced. She sat down and read this book start to finish. We talked about many of the issues and she loves the book very much. It is great for her to have this book to refer to about any of our family situations and the best way for her to handle it.

I recommend ALL the Smart Girls Books. They are SO GREAT! Very helpful with advice for the every day experiences that a girl has to deal with. The advice is Fantastice and worded exactly how a young girl needs it to be! I have a group of girls that I watch for the summer, and we are all going to read the books together as a group.I HIGHLY recommend these books. From divorce, to grooming, to friendship troubles, family relationships. All these books are great!

Great resource for daughters -- and their parents
This book is a great resource for girls who are dealing with their parents' divorce. I would also recommend this book as a great resource for parents -- it's important to remember what divorce looks like and feels like from the perspective of a kid. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

no answer from seller
I had rented this very book from the library for my own divorce. I followed the instructions and everything went just as planned. Cost me $175 bucks and I was divorced in 3 months. The library copy was rented already and a friend of mine wanted to use it so we found a copy on Amazon for 20 bucks from a non related seller. I was told the book was in good condition and nothing was missing. WRONG!!! The book was in good condition, that was true, but the first 8 pages you NEED to start your divorce were not there. I had to wait for the library copy anyway and in the meantime wrote to the seller. I have still not heard back from him. I wanted to give him the opportunity to make the situation right before I gave him a bad review. I guess he doesn't care about that, so I'm out 20 bucks and am forced to leave a bad comment. ... Read more

Product Description

A graceful, biblical way to reclaim sanity for the home and dignity for the suffering spouse in a dysfunctional or dangerous marriage.

Thousands of conscientious believers wanting to honor the sacred vows they took before God suffer in dysfunctional, even dangerous marriages. Each and every day they must choose between the lesser of two evils: divorce without sound biblical support or a life of perpetual, unrelenting misery. Somewhere between the secular disregard for the commands of Christ and the sacred unwillingness to deal with real problems of people, there is a way.

The redemptive divorce process is designed to honor the sacredness of the union while offering practical relief for the suffering partner and tough love for the offending spouse. In some cases, it might even be the catalyst for the restoration and rebuilding of the marriage. Practical, provocative, and utterly unique, Redemptive Divorce includes a helpful guide with worksheets for implementation.

Customer Reviews (7)

Hard read....
I agree with another review...This was not a easy book to read...
There is so many words and where is the man going with this ????
For me it's just not direct enough...I had to read the whole things
to finally understand what was being said...Very confusing at times...
It could work.... If you understand what he is trying to get across....

Redemptive Divorce
Using this book this summer to teach a Divorce recovery class. Very well written with a strong Biblical foundation. One of the best reads for those dealing with a divorce or helping those who are.

Redemptive Divorce
I ordered this book for our son who is going through a divorce. Great book for those who question whether or not, as a christian, divorce is accepted.I highly recommend this book to those going through divorce. Order placed and shipped timely fashion.

This is a hard read.
This is a difficult book to read.... very wordy, very intricately constructed sentences with rather archaic language that most of us can't muddle through.BUT, it you CAN muddle through, you will find some gems!My husband and I are currently separated both physically and spiritually.I have marked those pages where think he may find some wisdom, and he has agreed to read it when I mail it. I''m not expecting miracles, I'm simply hoping that he will THINK about what he has read.

Great, biblical advice
This book was very helpful and clearly laid out a plan that someone could follow if they were interested in one last effort at restoration of a failing marriage. It offers a thoughtful explanation of how "the church" has failed--in many respects--when it comes to counseling and supporting Christians who are in a painful/destructive marriage. It is balanced and suggests that forgiveness and healing for BOTH parties should be the goal. It directly tackles some of the most vexxing questions one faces in trying to figure out "What would Jesus want me to do in this situation?" I loved it and bought more copies to share with friends, my counselor and pastor. ... Read more

Product Description
"DIVORCE 101: A Woman's Guide to Divorce" is packedwith practical answers to your questions about divorce. Written in plain English, with easy to followchapters, this guide can empower you with the knowledge to make informeddecisions when your marriage ends. Itwill show you how to plan and manage your divorce, giving you the confidencenecessary to: Safeguard yourself before you ever meet with a lawyer. Collect and organize the vital information needed in your divorce. Choose the best lawyer for your case. Understand your current financial situation. Establish the bottom line so that you receive your fair share. Make money smart choices about assets and debts. Negotiate effectively with your husband without being intimidated. Understand child custody issues to create a customized parenting plan. Manage everything once your divorce is finalized.DIVORCE 101 is tailored tomeet the needs of women who desire direction during their divorce. It can help you understand the legal process,get a grip on your situation, and improve your ability to make gooddecisions. Instead of struggling throughyour divorce, gain the necessary knowledge to take control of it. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

The BEST divorce book anywhere!
I purchased this book for my best friend who had just separated from her husband, in hopes it would help her to know her rights in this state we live in, as well as to prepare her mentally, emotionally, financially etc for the coming proceedings.

I carefully reviewed this book online, and read excerpts of the book, read others reviews and finally decided on this book. There are many books around on the subject of divorce, but in my opinions, this book is the absolute best. Divorce is hard enough without having to deal with legal terminology in most books. This book was written by a woman, for woman.

If you or someone you care about is considering or planning divorce, do as I did and buy this book for them as a gift. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

ZollMediate@yahoo.com
I have recommended this book for several reasons to my divorce mediation participants (and appropriate friends and family members!) as part of my effort to persuade them to ccnsider themselves in the permanent business of parenting, even as they divorce from their personal history of intimacy: (1) the authors' credentials; (2) the helpful descriptions of the consequences of different stages of child develoment, whichshould lead theparticipantsto revisit their parenting plans at each of those stages; (3) the book is short, well written and jargon free, thus more likely to be read and absorbed.

The best interest of your child
A must read for all divorced/separated parents who really care about their children. While non-custodial parents may not like what this book has to say (especially in cases involving infants and young children), it definitely takes into consideration the needs of THE CHILD rather than the non-custodial parent and gives parents a good insight of what the child is going through. In an unfortunately judicial climate where judges simply want to take the easy way out to please the parents by cutting the children in half, this book warns of the potential damage this can cause your child. It also provides common sense methods for non-custodial parents to be involved in their children's lives until they do have more extensive visitation, which is encouraged as the children get older.

Understanding the CHILD'S needs
This book is an excellent guide to understanding what is best for your child and why.The author's recommendations stem from widely recognized theories of psychological development.It may seem unfair at times to the non-custodial parent.However, a part of being a good parent is doing what is best for your child even if that means putting your own needs aside.I think this book offers excellent guidance for parents trying to develop a healthy co-parenting plan that works and is age appropriate.

Bad Information
This book is very outdated to start things off.This shows no studies done on children who are actually involved with equal shared parenting.This book tells how the children should not spend the night at the onon-custodial parents house when at a young age.A child can sleep at a daycare or at school, but can't go spend the night at dad's house.How else can a child get the benefit of having both parents share in the raising of that child.The non-custodial parent would never get to help the child get ready for bed, wake them up in the morning, take them to school, make them dinner, and the list would go on forever.This book is great information for people who want their children to have one parent and to have major problems later in life

Very aggravating if you are trying to save your baby.
Good book if you are a bad female custodial parent involved in a custody dispute over a baby.Gives lots of reasons for not allowing the non-custodial to be involved as more than just a visitor. If you are a non-custodial, it shows you the kind of shallow thinking that Childpsychologists were using only 10 years ago and explains many of theprejudices you run up against when it comes to taking care of babies. Oneexample is they suggest that the "primary parent" or custodyshould be given to the one that spends the most amount of time caring forthe child. They neglect to mention that in many cases this would be the daycare provider or that it is possible that the time the "primaryparent" gives her baby is only what she has to do to keep the babyalive while the limited time the non-custodial parent gives is because hewants to be with the child and knows that the child desperately need him.The information offered in the book gets more in sync with modern thinkingas the age of the child increases. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (19)

This book will redefine the divorce debate!
This book review is for the book Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context by David Instone-Brewer, senior research fellow in Rabbinics and New Testament at Tyndale House in Cambridge, England.

In this book, Instone-Brewer analyzes the language and context of the divorce debates in the Gospels and in 1 Corinthians 7 and compares them to their cultural and historical context. He does this by analyzing various marriage contracts throughout the centuries (primarily Jewish contracts, but also the contracts of the nations surrounding Israel, as well as Greek and Roman marriage contracts); giving a history of divorce, especially as it relates to Jewish and Roman practices; demonstrates how both Jesus and Paul were influenced by these debates and why they gave the grounds for divorce they did; and showing how the evidence backs not just two grounds for divorce (adultery, according to Jesus, and desertion by an unbeliever married to a believer, according to Paul), but at least four grounds for divorce as evidenced in both Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and Exodus 21:10-11.

Instone-Brewer concludes these four grounds for divorce continue into the New Testament and eludes to the possibility of there being other grounds which might be connected to these four grounds (i.e. desertion being permissible grounds for divorce as it leads to one's "marital rights" being unfulfilled). He finally delves into how various church fathers understood these passages and then gives pastoral advice on how he thinks this understanding can be applied in a modern context.

People who approach this book might think this might be another wishy-washy book advocating divorce without solid exegesis. Nothing could be further from the truth! Instone-Brewer cares more about the authorial intent and shows how the Greek language, especially in Matthew 19, mirrors the exact terminology the Shammaites and Hillelites used in their debate on Deuteronomy 24:1-4.

The Shammaites taught that a Deuteronomy 24:1-4 divorce can only be initiated on the grounds of adultery, which they called "a matter of indecency" (flipping the Hebrew phraseology). Jesus agrees with them, using similar terminology, saying that divorce is only allowed on "a matter of porneia" (i.e. sexual sin, especially adultery).

The Hillelites separated the Hebrew phrasing to be "a matter" and "indecency", thus allowing divorce for "any matter" as well as "indecency", which Jesus was criticizing and saying was incorrect. Thus, according to Jesus, anyone who obtained an "any matter" divorce (which was a divorce for any reason, equivalent to a "no fault" divorce) was guilty of adultery, for they broke their marriage vows.

Instone-Brewer likewise concludes that Jesus only taught that divorce should be initiated when the person stubbornly refuses to repent (the original meaning of "hardheartedness"). He demonstrates that Jesus taught that Moses only allowed divorce, but never commanded it (unlike the Hillelites, who taught that divorce was mandatory), so that the decision to divorce for broken vows is in the hands of the offended party, if the other partner refuses to repent.

This does not mean that Jesus was abolishing Exodus 21:10-11-type divorces. According to Instone-Brewer, Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, spoke of "marital rights" in language that demonstrates that it is an obligation and in many places, including 1 Corinthians 7, uses divorce terminology found in divorce contracts that essentially gives the believer permission to remarry after a valid divorce. This language also echoes Exodus 21:10-11 itself. Instone-Brewer likewise shows that Paul was permitting a believer to remarry after a "divorce by separation" initiated by an unbeliever, which was the standard Roman practice for initiating divorce, on the grounds that a believer has no guarantee they will save an unbeliever. Paul was likewise condemning "divorce by separation" being initiated by believers, as they were equivalent to the Hillelite "any matter" divorces condemned by Jesus.

As for the seeming contradictions between the various Gospel accounts on divorce and Paul's additional cause for divorce, Instone-Brewer demonstrates how Jewish exegesis often would omit unnecessary details in order to aid in memorization. Thus, early Jewish readers of these gospels would have known to include the details that were omitted in the gospels, which is why Paul was free to add them later in 1 Corinthians 7.

Instone-Brewer likewise gives the Old Testament evidence that God Himself divorced Israel for violating these four vows. Instone-Brewer concludes from this evidence that not only is sexual faithfulness required in marriage, but that a believer is also obligated to feed, clothe and provide conjugal rights to their spouse and that any marriage which violates these vows, literally or in principle, may be valid grounds for divorce. He shows from this exegesis that the New and Old Testaments are in harmony when it comes to divorce and remarriage.

As someone who used to believe that divorce was only permitted on two grounds only (adultery and desertion), I found this book a breath of fresh air. Instone-Brewer has proven to me that there are more grounds for divorce than the standard two and that a person who has a valid divorce is free to remarry, without having to take back the guilty partner, if the guilty partner was unwilling to repent before the divorce was initiated.

I do have some gripes, though. One of those gripes is that Instone-Brewer uses Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19 to advocate monogamy as God's ideal situation and concludes that Jesus surely used Genesis 7:9 (which is missing) along with 1:27 and 2:24-25 (which is what He cited), as these triad of verses were used by the exegetes at Qumran to advocate monogamy. Thus, the omission of the third passage was because, according to Instone-Brewer, Jews already would have been aware of this triad and thus would have supplied the missing verse mentally and known Jesus was advocating monogamy.

However, the Old Testament did allow polygyny (one man:many women), according to Instone-Brewer's own admission, and while I'm not necessarily advocating it as an ideal situation, I do not think Jesus is using Genesis 1:7 and 2:24 to imply monogamy as much as I do think He is using it to imply the eternity of marriage (i.e. of two people becoming one flesh). So while this is a moot point in his overall exegesis, as polygyny isn't common, at least in the West, I do think Instone-Brewer does stand on some dangerous ground in this area, for the simple reason that I do not see Jesus overturning any contemporary polygynous marriages if He ever ran into them. Since Jesus seems to hold a fairly conservative stance on interpreting Deuteronomy 24:1-4 as allowing divorce for adultery only, I would likewise conclude He would consider it adultery for a polygynous couple to break up without valid reasons for divorce.

Another gripe I have is with his pastoral practice. He says that when he marries a couple where there's the possibility that one is a divorcee, he never inquires into the reasons for their divorce, although he would personally refuse to marry a couple if they had an affair with one another while the other was still married. I personally think that issues like these should come out into the open and approached in heavy prayer. I also think where a divorce is invalid, the divorcee should try to return to their former spouse if the former spouse will take them to preclude adultery. I also think there's potential for danger in Instone-Brewer's approach.

In the end, though, no review of this book can do it justice and for this reason, I advise even the most staunch of critics when it comes to divorce to pick it up and read it. I think that we, as the Body of Christ, have been too staunch over the centuries when it comes to divorce. But that doesn't mean that I think divorce should be so easy: after all, marriage is a lifelong commitment and a covenant. We, as the Church, have to be sure that a divorce is permissible before we recommend it, lest we, too, be guilty of adultery by association. For this reason, I'm glad Instone-Brewer has shown us a new way of interpreting the passages, without opening the floodgates of invalid divorces. For that reason, I think he is to be commended.

Truth Restored
Instone-Brewer is the Martin Luther of the Divorce/Remarriage debate bringing deliverance from the bondage of the traditional doctrines.Understanding the context and the New Testament realities that Jesus and Paul were addressing brings complete harmony to the entire biblical record on this issue.No more conflicts or apparent contradictions. Now it all makes perfect sense.

Better yet!
Sound research and documentation for digging deeper into biblical roots and cultural insights on a supremely important and practical topic.

Covenant is not Contract
While addressing some points well, the argument starts off on the wrong foot in the first chapter, where he equates the marriage covenant to a contract.This takes marriage down to a business arrangement, not the covenantal relationship that models Christ's relationship to the church.Do you think Christ only has a business arrangement with the church?

Poor Exegesis
The huge focus on how ancient cultures treat divorce, is completely irrelevant. What matters is what Jesus says. Case in point, Mark 10:11-12, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits [present tense] against her. And if the wife divorces her husband and marries another, she is committing adultery." Emphasis added. This coincides with Romans 7:2-3, "A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if he is dead, she is released from the law of her husband. So then, if shemarries another while her husband is still alive, she should be called and adulteress (one who practices adultery). But if her husband be dead [literally no longer living], she is free from the law of her husband and is not an adulteress if she marries another." Emphasis added.

Its a sign of how apostate so called Christians are today, when we cannot accept the simplest, clear, and emphatic teaching of our Lord and Saviour. If you don't take Him at His Word, why do you call yourself a Christian? ... Read more

Product Description
Divorce affects thousands of children each year, and each and every one of them will benefit from the caring, friendly activities in this book.While children may sometimes not show apparent signs of the stress of a divorce, the strain it places on them is very real and, left undealt with, can develop into serious problems in the years to come. Written by an experienced counselor, The Divorce Workbook for Children offers you simple and engaging activities that can help you help kids address and cope with issues related to parental divorce. The goal of these activities is to help kids feel "out of the middle" of the parental conflict and learn to be more resilient and self-reliant. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Good Workbook
As a school social worker I use this book when students are shy or to help with talking points.When we are finished with our time together, I send the little "book" we've made home and have heard positive things in that regards.One of the better divorce workbooks out there.

Helpful Resource

This book provides many helpful activities to incorporate into counseling sessions. Activities cover important topics. My one critisism is that the activities are "Paper and Pencil" activities and some children do not engage. Other helpful books for mental health professionals working with children of divorce include:

Dinosaurs Divorce

Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story For Little Kids About Divorce

Creative Interventions for Children of Divorce ... Read more

Product Description
Getting Divorced?Protect Yourself . . . and Your Money

"This book combines basic tax law with the practicalities of protective analysis and negotiation technique.It provides an extremely valuable ‘thinking man’s’ checklist.Women should also find the book interesting reading." –DAVID CLURMAN, PHILLIPS NIZER BENJAMIN KRIM & BALLON LLP

"This is an invaluable treatise that guides men through every ‘nook and cranny’ of the divorce process, from the decision to split to its lifelong aftermath. I wish this book had beenavailable twenty-five years ago when I went through my own divorce." –DAVID W. SMITH, PRESIDENT, AMERICAN SOCIETY OF CORPORATE SECRETARIES

You are not alone. The statistics are startling. Close to 500f marriages end in divorce, and everyone–from your children to your spouse–will benefit from your preparation for the rough road ahead.

Divorce Rules for Men gives you hard-hitting practical advice, with numerous real-life examples, on how to save thousands of dollars on your divorce. It will give you information on finding the right attorney, filing procedures, negotiating an equitable property settlement as well as alimony or maintenance and child support, communicating with your children, and preparing for divorce court.

Authors Martin Shenkman and Michael Hamilton cover every aspect of the divorce process, including:

• What you need to know before filing for divorce
• Getting back on your feet afterward
• How to do your own divorce
• How to protect your assets

Don’t go into a divorce proceeding unprepared. Divorce Rules for Men gives you all the information you need to get through the rough spots and come out ready to start a new life. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Great Divorce Tips
After buying this book, my divorce process became less stessful and I became better equipped with information on what to expect in the process. It definitely helped me during my mediation process and kept my ex-wife from trying to take advantage of me as she did during my marriage. I am glad I came accross this book when I did. Thanks!!

Pretty good !
One of the "good" ones from the sparse offerings for men on divorce.
Get free/paid advice too from attorneys as this is a state matter. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (2)

Practical, Helpful Advice for Difficult Times
Hoping your divorce won't mess up your kids for life? You can do more than hope: You can take positive, pro-active steps to help your children adjust to divorce in healthy, life-giving ways.

The strategies and ideas in this book are solid, practical, workable. You don't have to take on a new personality or change who you are. Instead, this book shows you how to thoughtfully, positively talk to and coach your kids through the trauma and drama of divorce.

Excellent book for women; useful also for men. If you're navigating the tough waters of a divorce, this book can help!

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend:
Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

parenting book
I was very pleased with the book I purchased. It came quickly and was in very good shape. I will order again. ... Read more

Product Description
It's tough being a teen even in the best of circumstances, but when parents divorce teens are faced with an additional set of practical and emotional issues. This book gives them everything they need to get through their parents' divorce and keep it from taking a long-term emotional toll. Teens learn how to:

• cope with the grief, fear, and anger that accompany divorce;
• adjust to having two homes and changes in financial status;
• assert their right to be teens, to separate from their parents' problems, and to love both parents;
• not get caught in the middle of battling parents;
understand that the divorce is not their fault and overcome feelings of guilt.

Research tells us that teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are 3 times more likely to need psychological help and that boys are more likely to become aggressive and girls are more likely to experience depression as a result of divorce. While this sounds like a grim picture, it's important to remember that there is help and that divorce need not leave a painful legacy. The Divorce Workbook for Teens helps teenagers come through their parent's divorce emotionally and psychologically intact.

Customer Reviews (1)

very good
My 15 yr old daughter loved this book, I would recommend it to anyone who has teens from a divorced family, no matter how old they were when you divorced ... Read more

Product Description
A "Real" Man's Guide to Divorce is a humorous look at divorce from an admittedly one-sided perspective.Author Joe Perrone Jr exposes the myths and fallacies of this most painful experience in a light-hearted manner that will leave you in stitches.A bit of good advice and a heavy dose of laughter make A "Real" Man's Gude to Divorce a "must read" for every man headed down the road to marital division! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

106 pages of baloney
I expected more how-to meat between the jokes. These 106 pages are like being cornered by your drunk uncle as he recollects his divorce and tells corny jokes. I guess "real men" don't need hard facts or funny jokes.

Getting a Divorce has Never Been so Hilarious...
The truth hurts - and sometimes it makes us cry laughing - as is the case in Joe Perrone Jr.'s A "Real" Man's Guide to Divorce. Written as a guide for the many men who are going through the almost-statistically-inevitable rite of passage, Perrone approaches the topic with eyes wide open, wallet wide open - and often times other things wide open - giving the realistic male perspective on the process that begins after the husband has already left, (or has been pushed), out the backdoor. The author paints an all-too-honest picture of the emotional, financial, and logistical sides of the subject with a brush dipped in experience, wisdom, and a sense of humor that page after page will have the reader holding his sides. Written masterfully and with the audience fully in mind, only Perrone knows how to make the candidly gruff male language, which makes the book so entertaining, still sound as eloquent as verse. Five stars for an informative, and hysterical, read!

- Julia Dudek, author of Pieces

Getting a Divorce has Never Been so Hilarious...
The truth hurts - and sometimes it makes us cry laughing - as is the case in Joe Perrone Jr.'s A "Real" Man's Guide to Divorce.Written as a guide for the many men who are going through the almost-statistically-inevitable rite of passage, Perrone approaches the topic with eyes wide open, wallet wide open - and often times other things wide open - giving the realistic male perspective on the process that begins after the husband has already left, (or has been pushed), out the backdoor.The author paints an all-too-honest picture of the emotional, financial, and logistical sides of the subject with a brush dipped in experience, wisdom, and a sense of humor that page after page will have the reader holding his sides.Written masterfully and with the audience fully in mind, only Perrone knows how to make the candidly gruff male language, which makes the book so entertaining, still sound as eloquent as verse.Five stars for an informative, and hysterical, read!

- Julia Dudek, author of Pieces

Lively Humor on a Deadly Serious Subject
Divorce is not funny!In fact, it's DEADLY serious--one of the most traumatic of life's experiences, even in the best of circumstances.SO,FINDING HUMOR DURING THE PROCESS IS NOT EASY BUT IT IS NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL. This book is a hilarious presentation of very sound advice for a person during a stressful time.

Though written from a man's perspective, it can be entertaining and helpful for women.It is a very easy read for someone who is not in a state of mind for the arduous task of plowing through the usual "self-help" guides to the various crises in life.

The glossary provides good basic definitions of legal jargon that are useful while amusing the reader with clever alternative meanings.The last two pages of the book (before the glossary) impart a message that is critically important for EVERY parent to remember.

As a woman, I tried NOT to like this book!
As a woman, I tried really hard not to like this book, but in the end, I thought it was really funny, which I think was the main intent of the author. Perrone admits that, although happily married now for almost 30 years, he has also gone through a divorce. The book is a comedic view of the whole experience from a man's perspective.

Quotes like: "What's hers is HERS and what's yours is HERS" abound. Perrone offers some good tips in between the jokes. He says that men should hire female divorce lawyers, because a female is more likely to sniff out when the wife is just whining to the judge.

There's some profanity (bad words) so if you are offended by this, you might not like it. Most men seem not to be bothered by it, so that's the only issue that I can see.

Conclusion: A funny look at a serious subject

... Read more

Product Description
A great resource for parents struggling through the turmoil of divorce. Putting the welfare of children front and center, the book offers parents accessible ways to maintain self-safety and self-control while developing a positive new relationship as "co-parents." Recommended reading for every divorcing or divorced couple. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Parental alienation syndrome
This is an excellent resource for anyone going through a high conflict divorce. ... Read more

Product Description
2003 ECPA Gold Medallion Award winner!
This cornerstone book of the Divorce-Proofing America's Marriages campaign outlines the threats to marriage and the key building blocks to counter those threats and divorce-proof any marriage. The Rosbergs define the six facets of love—forgiving love, serving love, persevering love, guarding love, celebrating love, and renewing love. This book and its companion workbook will equip couples and small groups to divorce-proof their marriages. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Divorce Proof
A great CD that gives a real once over to what you should do to have a health marriage.There is nothing ground breaking in the book, but it addresses many things that can or maybe overlooked.It also puts things in a context that can really hit home.

Divorce Proof Marriage/saving your marriage
My husband and I have been married over 30 years and quite frankly had reached a very apathetic stage.This book literally revitalized our marriage, got us talking again and we are no longer looking at divorce as an option.We have also been able to put spirituality and God where they belong in our lives and marriage.I would say that this book really saved our marriage and would highly recommend it.By the way, my husband and I each got our own copy so that we could mark it up and work on some of the exercises without pressure from each other.

Nothing new...
I listened to the abridged audiocassette version of Gary and Barbara Rosberg's book on a recent road trip, and I would have to say that it left very little impression on me, good or bad.The book is organized into six different categories of love that will presumably prevent a marriage from ending in divorce.Though this is an admirable goal, I'm not sure how this book will accomplish such a feat.

My primary critique of the book is that it provides nothing new to the catalog of Christian marriage books.I've read many of them, and the Rosberg's contribution is largely a retread of many others.In terms of the book title, I'm now sure how this book is supposed to provide any specific advice for avoiding divorce.Its rather generic nature might suggest that a more appropriate title choice would have been "How to Have a Good Christian Marriage."To that end, their effort is respectable but largely unremarkable.

To their credit, the Rosbergs manage to navigate the tricky waters of co-authorship rather successfully.The interplay from one voice to the other was not choppy as is often the case with co-authors.They also told a number of engaging stories, both from their own life together and from many couples who have been counseled by Gary.The story-telling component was the most meaningful and useful part of the book.

Ultimately, there was nothing in "Divorce-Proof Your Marriage" with which I disagreed.And the presentation of the material was fine.The book just never really grabbed me in any significant way.If you're looking for a Christian book to really solidify and improve your marriage, I'd recommend Gary Thomas' "Sacred Marriage" or Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" instead.

Divorce Proof Your Marriage
Good for getting couples to communicate better and visualize practical steps to help the marriage blossom.I highly recommend this book and have given it to over 30 couples.

I wish I had this book when I was starting out
Dr. Gary Rosberg and his wife Barbara have written a wonderful handbook for marriage that would benefit any couple, no matter how long they've been married, or even if they're just engaged.

The book covers six "types of love" one needs to nurture in a marriage: "Forgiving Love", "Serving Love", Persevering Love", "Guarding Love", "Celebrating Love", and "Renewing Love". The Rosberg's use many examples from real-life couples they've either counseled in Dr. Rosberg's practice, or people they've met in life or through their radio show, "America's Family Coaches Live". It's through the radio show that I found out about this book. As I wrote in my title, I wish I'd had this 20 years ago. My own marriage is strong, but it could have been so much sooner if I'd been told some of the truths in here. Biblically-based, the book can help you wherever you are on the "marriage map", as the Rosberg's call it. Do yourself and your "significant other" a favor, and invest in your relationship by buying this book. ... Read more

Product Description

A lawyer and a psychologist offer a groundbreaking divorce strategy that protects both your finances and your family.

From your first thought of divorce through the final paperwork, Your Divorce Advisor takes you step by step toward a divorce that dissolves the marriage but not your dignity, your sense of family, or your financial security. Whether you hire a lawyer or a mediator, or do it yourself, this practical, direct, and empowering guide offers you the wise counsel you need for both the legal and the emotional processes of ending your marriage.

Your Divorce Advisor shows you how to:

Product Description
When an adult child’s marriage ends, lots of folks are hurt. The divorcing couple, of course, and their children. Until now, however, little attention has been paid to the parents of the divorcees. Temlock’s examination of this sensitive topic offers parents a friendly guidebook packed with helpful information and suggestions from parents who’ve "been there." Her five-stage model of the divorce process for parents (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) will help readers to stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they’ll share with their children and grandchildren. This practical manual puts an arm around the shoulder of parents of divorcing adults and supports them through the difficult days of the divorce process and its aftermath. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

Great for parents
WOW!!I have really struggled with my son's divorce -- and this bookhelped me understand and control my feelings.I know I am not alone in these feelings!

Surviving Your Child's Divorce
The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.

A Helpful Resource
Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce.Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process:1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding.In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child.The book is a great resource.

No stone left unturned
Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.)
This book is worth twice the price.

A missing topic until now
I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them.I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation.Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends. ... Read more

Product Description
Divorce may not be the answer to marital problems. Clinical psychologist Diane Medved offers step-by-step methods for recognizing marital troubles and how to work them out together, the truths behind the myths of divorce, and the most common reasons for divorce and what they truly mean. HC: Donald I. Fine. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (19)

Divorce doesn't have to be the answer!
This book is easy reading. Its well written with common sense examples against divorce that we all think about but out of anger, frustration or a quick fix or our own insecurities we deny that these are the reasons to stay together. The truth is after 18, 20, 23 years with one spouse you are connected in so many ways that it's undeniable. If your feel you are not you can reconnect and bring back all the warmth, fun and love you once felt to the surface because it is really there. This book spells it out if your open minded enough to see it! It takes work but the book is a long term study that proves it statistically.

The grass isn't always greener
If you find yourself seriously comptemplating divorce, this book is a must read.Medved, who herself has been divorced and remarried, makes it clear from the start that this book was really supposed to be a non-judgmental, non-critical, typical therapist's take on divorce and its non-harmful effects on everyone involved or touched by it.She had to admit through her own research, her premise changed 180 degrees.

If you are thinking that divorce will solve all of your problems and make you happier, then you owe it to yourself to find out, before doing the deed, what potential new problems you may create for yourself, and more importantly, your children.Both spouses should take the time to read it just in case one (or both) of you has visions of grandeur of life without the other.

Should all marriages be "saved?"No, but we all know of many more lives that have been negatively impacted in many different ways by divorce than those that have been successfully impacted. Do your homework and be brutally honest with yourself (mostly about yourself) before buying into the notion that divorce will fix your unhappiness and dissatisfaction.This book gives a more objective view of the longterm results most people don't have the courtesy to warn you about written by one who has been on both sides of the fence, and she explains quite well and clearly why the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Awesome Book
I read this book while I was working on the set of7th Heaven . This book shows that most divorced couples divorce for frivilous reasons. (One example was a man who left his wife because he felt that she cheated him of his youth.) The book publishes statistics as well as anecdotal evidence.

One part of the book I enjoyed was that of a man who spoke to a divorced friend about marital problems during a high school reunion. After hearing his friend's callius attitude about marriage, the man decided to work things out, and he did.

Readbefore rending
A book anyone contemplating divorce should read. Even if you feel divorce is inevitable, it will at least warn you what you are up against.

If you have kids, and considering divorce, this is a must read!
If you are immature and just want out, and your partner is shallow enough to have also not taken his/her vows seriously, AND you don't have kids in the marriage, then you can take the easy way out and just split.however, kidless and unhappy, this book still will give you a needed side to read that is quite contrary to the legal fabric of this country, where divorce attorneys get fat from making divorce easy.there is no easy divorce!!!!emotionally, it will wreck you.

if you have children in the marriage and are to the point of divorce, then it should be mandated by a judge (if not by a friend or family member) that you read this book.the reality is clear:divorce wrecks children!(not just in the short-term, but LONG-TERM). dr. medved makes this unmistakably clear.any marriage can improve when both parties work at it, and this book will give you the push to get busy doing just that.

anyone who has experienced the reality of divorce should read this book and cram it under the nose of the divorce attorney that handled their case.if attorneys have any soul (doubtful), it might make them stop taking divorce cases. ... Read more

Product Description

For many years, Growing Up With Divorce has offered divorced parents transformative insight, solace, and practical guidance on how to help their children cope with the stresses caused by marital separation.

Every child is unique, yet there are certain common reactions to the stresses of divorce -- anger, a sense of divided loyalties, lasting intimacy issues. Dr. Neil Kalter explains that, for children, divorce is not a single event but is comprised of "a series of events that occur over many years." Identifying three stages of divorce, Dr. Kalter cites the particular struggles associated with each stage and explains how gender as well as cognitive, emotional, and social development also affect how children react.

Dispensing sage advice on everything from understanding and minimizing the anxieties that underlie various troublesome behaviors to smoothing out your child's transitions between her two households to incorporating a new spouse into your family, Dr. Kalter gives parents and the professionals who treat divorced families an indispensable guide to navigating the difficulties of divorce. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Great book for helping children through divorce and its aftermath
Excellent book. A well written looks at children at a variety of ages to explain their reaction to divorce. The people who love the child involved need to know how to help and this book is a big help.

Book on Emotional Effects of Divorce on children and adults
This book looks at the emotions and stages that families go through with "good, bad, and ugly divorces".The book includes rarely discussed syndromes that may occur when one or more parents engage in emotional warfare and the resulting trauma for the children. For example, I have never read such a good description of parent alienation.This is an excellent book to give to people while they are considering divorce so they know what they have to face or how to proceed so that the children are spared great pain and fear. It is an excellent guide for mental health professionals for assessment of children and couples. (I am in social work.)

Helpfull
I particularly like the fact that Neil Kalter describes the emotions that children have. As they often hide them in a different way than I would expect as a parent.
Now I can see much more clear what my children reveal to protect me.
Kalter offers good to the point advice on how to help children.
Which is exactly what you need as a parent.
I greatly recommend this book.
Margo, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Imminently helpful to separating families
As a divorce mediator, I've loaned several copies of this book to separating couples, never to have them returned.Now that the book has been reprinted, I'm ordering a dozen copies for my program, and will giveit to separating parents because of its powerful message:"removeyour kids from the middle of your marital conflict!"

Excellent refrence to assist children thru divorce troubles
Growing Up With Divorce by Dr. Neil Kalter has proven to be an excellenttool for helping the children through the emotional pitfalls of divorce. It is divided by age catagory, tells of the signs of emotional distressthen gives practical solutions to help the children through their issues. Good tool to use again and again. ... Read more

Product Description
Stressing cooperation over confrontation and resolution over revenge, Collaborative divorce is a nationally acclaimed approach that is transforming how couples divide their assets and reinvent their post-divorce relationships, particularly when they share custody of children. Based on the concept that both spouses hire legal representation yet agree to resolve their differences without going to court, Collaborative divorce is generally less expensive and quicker than litigation, gives the couple greater control over the outcome of their divorce, and keeps children out of the controversy. Clear, compassionate, and comprehensive, The Collaborative Way to Divorce offers a dignified, effective solution to one of life’s most difficult situations. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (10)

an excellent process for reducing marital separtion conflict
I'd read a few books on divorce in preparation, knowing that we'd need a separation agreement to firm up financial issues and for various matters related to the kids.We'd had a fair amount of conflict leading up to this point in time, but eventually completed an asymptotic approach to a mutual acceptance of the marriage breakdown.With that came agreements on most issues, but I was dreading the legal process that I knew to be required.I figured that it was going to inevitably lead back to fights and conflict over issues that we'd actually (at least mostly) resolved.

I ended up with a recommendation by a recent divorcée to consider the collaborative process.I'd not heard of this, and found this book in the library describing the whole thing.It was quite a relief to know that there was an alternative to the traditional duke it out lawyer vs lawyer ways.

If you believe you are capable to get through your divorce and separation smoothly, then this process could be for you.This book is well worth a read to understand the process, the rationale, and some of the alternatives.I'm happy to see that there is some signs that this is becoming the default process for the legal issues of marriage breakdown.It puts some much needed sanity and order into a very confusing and chaotic event.

Considered Explanation of the Reasons to Use Collaborative Divorce
Thoughtful. The one word summary of the way Webb and Ousky write about divorce must emphasize the reflective nature of the book and of their practices.

With graphics and bullets and quotes and case studies and testimonials, they lay out a different way of approaching a familiar topic. A topic that is oddly familiar to all of us who have been through divorce but a process that is mostly familiar to family lawyers whose work largely replicates the status quo. In proposing an alternative, the authors carefully examine the consequences (emotional and financial) of the old way and the collaborative way.

Again and again, I was delighted to realize "I'm not the only one" as Webb (the founder of the collaborative movement) and Ousky (a lawyer and practitioner) critique the existing approach and describe their alternative.

If I have any negative reactions to the work, they come from a sense that the book is an argument for collaborative divorce. It is an argument I find compelling. It is an argument that I find persuasive. It is an argument that I make in talks in Portland and Vancouver on a regular basis. It is an argument that I've made on television and radio but an argument nonetheless. Stu Webb could probably write another book titled "How to Succeed at Collaboration" and his autobiography in the very near future. This is less than a description of the process and more of a persuasive narration.

Great Advice on a Difficult Subject
I just completed the negotiation phase of my divorce and am now separated.I read this book at the suggestion of my lawyer (I chose the collaborative approach prior to getting the book).It was simple to understand and walked me through each step of the process.I felt that I was well prepared for our negotiation sessions and had a good perspective on the 'problems' that inevitably come up in them.Between the book and the coaching that my lawyer gave, I survived the divorce process without carrying any of the negative baggage forward.

absolutely essential reading for divorcing couples
Stu Webb and Ron Ousky have produced a body of advice for divorcing parents that draws on a combined fifty-plus years of family law experience--in and out of court.Few events in life so urgently need one's best thinking, and fewer stillfrustrate that ability as much, as divorce.Stu and Ron explain in clear, direct language the paradox of the bitterdivorce, namely: the harder you fight, the less likely you are to get what you really need, and the more harm you do to your family.By approaching divorce as a problem to be solved, and a set ofneeds to be met for your family, couples can achieve greater satisfaction and longer-lasting agreements than they can by fighting in court.For divorcing parents who put their children first.

Collaborative Divorce is absolutely worth reading!
Having met with Ron Ousky, I am only sorry to say this book wasn't out when we were looking for help to keep our family intact even though we were divorcing.

Our own story is one that many people say they can relate to, having each of the family members write their own version of how the divorce came to pass and how we stayed family through it, not only surviving, but thriving.

We're happy to support the Collaborative Law Institute and share its own message, similar to our own... A Family Doesn't Have To End Just Because A Marriage Does!

Relational Shifts: A Family Doesn't Have to End Just Because a Marriage Does ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (8)

Good informational book
This book is complete.It gives you step by step instructions.Buy it at the start of your divorce procedings.It will help with questions you never will think of.It will save you $1000's in attorney's fees in most cases.Only the most difficult of cases (or ex spouses) may require an attorney.However, this book will still help you to ask the right questions and give you confidence (or lack of confidence) in your attorney of choice.

This book provides knowledge in an area of law most of us know nothing about.It's amazing the maze of paperwork the court system requires of you to get a divorce.GET THIS BOOK!

Good luck with your divorce!!
This is a great book if your divorce is uncontested.Good luck to all who can use it!!
Helen Holroyd

No Fan of Lawyers
A lawyer will tell you that "anyone who is his own lawywer has a fool for a client." But of course it's also said that "a fool and his money are soon parted." which is why your lawyer is so interested in you. You are a fool either way. You might as well be the fool with this book in your hand and more money in your wallet.

Most of what a divorce lawyer does is no-value-added middleman stuff that would be eliminated in an enterprise that was motivated to be efficient. They also have very little expert insight to offer that you can't learn yourself from this book. Lawyers can even make things worse by creating conflicts where none existed before. They create the family-law equivalent of a Cold War arms buildup, where they are the weapons suppliers. They want to instill an "us vs. them" mentality into the case. In my case I felt like the "us" was the ex amd me, and the "them" was the lawyers. I ended up firing mine and represented myself. I got a better result, faster and costing less, than I would have had I not cut my losses.

My advice: buy this book, represent yourself ('pro per'), and hire a lawyer on what they call an 'unbundled' basis to serve strictly in an advisory capacity. If the book helps you do even one thing without a lawyer's help, it has paid for itself a hundred times over.

I have read several books on the subject, but you really need only one. This is the one I recommend. The CD is useful too. I highly recommend the Cal Support software. Also, be sure to check out the stuff the court publishes for free online.

Absolutely required for doing your own divorce without an attorney!
How to Do Your Own Divorce in California: Everything You Need for an Uncontested Divorce of a Marriage or a Domestic PartnershipHow to Do Your Own Divorce in California by Ed Sherman is a required resource.It is also an incredible bargain for the information and reference to other resources it contains.For such an inherently difficult process like divorce, the chapters and steps are well organized, making the process alot easier.However, it does lack an index, which the author justifies excluding based on the time-sensitive nature of the information, and the difficulty of including it.But you can still find what you need.Be prepared to spend a lot of time studying the chapters and learning the process.I can see that some people might not have the patience for the process and run to an attorney.But if you have the patience, and don't have the money, this is the way to go!It is still difficult even with the book, but lots better than going through an attorney.The demo software (for CalSupport and DealMaker) and worksheets that come with the are also very helpful.CalSupport and DealMaker are easily downloaded for only $35 each, and are bargains for what they can do!I am still going through the process and using the book and software.

Great/useful book, but CD will not open on my Mac - automatically rejects the CD
Great/useful book, but CD will not open on my Mac - automatically rejects the CD, no option to navigate to it, the Mac G5 I have just kicks it back out... ... Read more

Product Description

No matter how bad the marriage, there is no way to end it without feeling a sense of loss. The difference between people who live in the pain and those who grow from the experience is the knowledge of how to grieve and let go. To recover from the trauma of divorce requires turning losses into opportunities.

Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse meticulously examines the obstacles that hold many divorced people back and effectively deals with overcoming these barriers. She shows you how to care for yourself through the crisis stage of divorce, welcome new feelings and turn an angry ex into a future friend. She devotes and entire section to helping kids cope and teaches you how to develop a healthy and effective single parent family. She also discusses the pitfalls and relapses that might occur after the healing process has begun. She guides you through re-entry into the dating world and finally, she reveals the secrets of achieving a happy, loving and lasting remarriage.

Customer Reviews (4)

Agree, Not just for divorce
I agree with the previous review. I once heard a phase that says "once you turn forty, you have to stop blaming your parents." This is an excellent book to make you look at the hard-wiring of who and why you are. The author really helps bring yourself to"The now" and a "It's is time to start living my own life" approach.










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A good book
Although this is one of the older books on divorce available on Amazon, it was by far the most useful and supportive of the 3 I purchased.Specific, personal, humane - as if the author is talking to you, explaining the terrain, empathizing, cheering you on.She explains the stages one goes through, encourages feeling the feelings, but also gives a loving push to to take steps, slowly, toward moving on and creating a new life for yourself.She has been through a divorce.It's a much better book than Fischer/Alberti's Rebuildling When Your Relationship ends, which I did not like.The only reason I'm not giving Life After Divorce 5 stars is that divorce is so difficult, it would have to be one amazing book to rate 5 stars.

life after divorce - IS FANTASTIC
this book made me excited about my future and made all the 'yucky' feelings i had inside disappear. i have ordered several of these books and i give them to friends who tell me they are starting the process of divorce.i cannot recommend this book highly enough, it's the best $12 i ever spent!!!

Not just for divorcees
This is not just a book for people going through a divorce, it's also agood book for couples to read to help with their relationship.Chapter 10is especially helpful for people who are still married. ... Read more