Customer Reviews (3)

All parents divorcing should read this!
This book is GREAT.I recommend it to everyone who is thinking about or in the process of a divorce, you can't imagine how much it will help you re-think how you handle things.

Counseling
My husband counsels divorcing couples with minor children.He always appreciates any information to aide him in this mission work.

Now in a revised and updated second edition.
Forensic psychologist and high-conflict divorce specialist Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D. presents Parenting After Divorce: Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children's Needs, now in a revised and updated second edition. Grounded firmly in real-life experience rather than overly idealistic assumptions, Parenting After Divorce covers how to amicably share custody, the importance of keeping the child out of the middle of conflict, the need to take care of oneself (or else one will be in no shape to look after children), dealing with the courts, and much more. Real-world examples help to clarify the key points discussed in this highly accessible and enthusiastically recommended advice guide for divorced parents everywhere.
... Read more

Product Description
This book helps parents in the aftermath of divorce learn to sustain a healthy co-parenting relationship. “Conflict and Parenting” explores parental conflict and its effects on children, conflict resolution, and the importance of forging a co-parenting relationship. “Co-Parenting Guidelines” offers specifics for solving day-to-day problems, disciplining, and handling conflict during transitional times and special events. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (16)

Most important book I've ever read...
...and I was an English major, so I've read a lot of books.

During our separation, my wife and I were in parent coordination and on a direct course for a custody evaluation and full-blown custody fight.We both were sure that we were "high-conflict," and could barely speak to each other without expressing hostility, contempt and mistrust, even in front of our kids.Despite having our own lawyers and shrinks, a mediator, and a parent coordinator, nobody noticed that our pendente lite parenting plan was horrible with all its transitions.It increased our conflict. Nobody told me stop fighting for more parenting time at the expense of quality parenting time.Nobody stopped the madness to point out that my wife and I actually agreed on a whole lot more than what we disagreed on.

Our parent coordinator suggested that we read "Joint Custody with a Jerk."Obviously, she didn't get us.The title alone was a turn-off to both of us.So, in reading the amazon reviews for "Jerk," I found this book.Amazingly, reading it has turned everything around for us.

Based on the guidance in this book, I discovered that our acrimony in trying to co-parent was pretty much just the residue of the conflict that ended our marriage (exacerbated by our "support networks").I realized that we trusted each other in most aspects of parenting (as opposed to being a spouse) and, therefore, could (and should) discuss our infrequent differences in parenting in a respectful, business-like way.Of the four levels of conflict outlined in this book (level 1 being cooperative, level 4 being high-conflict), I was amazed to discover that we were only level 2 with just moments of level 4 from time to time.Level 1 seemed within reach.This book gives you a concise, no-nonsense road map to getting there.

Since reading this book and putting its guidance in practice, my wife and I decided to dump our parent coordinator and worked out a permanent parenting plan, just the two of us, without the presence of lawyers or any other paid professionals.Transitions have become relatively pleasant.My divorce-related stress has decreased to a fraction of what it was.

It's tough work not to revert.The theme of this book is that co-parents must extinguish their conflict addiction because it is harmful to your kids, to your relationship with them, and, ultimately, to yourself.The bitter medicine that this book prescribes is that you must communicate with your co-parent *more* than you did before you divorced--more than when you were happily married even.Sounds ridiculous, right?It's not.If you can buy-in to that, you're on your way.

If you're a divorced parent, read this book; take the medicine; and figure out a way to talk to your co-parent--a lot.You'll be grateful to the authors, like I am.

Excellent resource.
I have read many books on co-parenting with a less-than-ideal Dad. (or Mom)This one is down to earth and very informative.It is written focusing on what the children need from co-parents instead of how the co-parents should get along.After all, both want the best for their children, don't we?

Little guidance on what to do with an uncooperative coparent
This book was wonderfully insightful about how to handle co-parenting on all levels.Yet, it failed to offer ANY suggestions as to what to do with an ex-spouse that was not at all interested in cooperating. ...Maybe in the next edition they will address this very real reality of some divorces...

The Co-Parenting Survival Guide
This is one of the best books written about how a co-parenting relationship works, and why it is so important for children. We recommend this book to nearly every parent who comes to the Kids First Center for guidance. This book talks about how parents sometimes become addicted to conflict and that it is not necessarily divorce that hurts kids, it's continued conflict.
If you are a parent going through divorce, or a professional who works with these parents, buy this book. And if you really want to know how the kids are feeling buy Kids First: What Kids Want Grown-ups to Know about Separation & Divorce.

Puts you in the right frame of mind
I think this a book well written to appeal to parents that really want the best for their kids, but have problems getting past their own anger and agenda. It's also done in a strong, but not admonishing tone that certainly connected with me.

I found the sample eMail exchanges in the book to be frighteningly familiar. It was almost as if someone had eavesdropped into some of my conversations with my kids' mom. It made me realize this is a common problem and also how silly some of that 'exchange' was by seeing someone else do it.

I also found that our conflict issues were no where near as bad as they can get in others. At least I felt good that our conflicts were petty and easier to resolve.

You also don't have to have both parents read the book - although it would help. I was the only one that read it - actually prior to a co-parenting mediation session - and it really put me into a very constructive frame of mind that focused on our kids rather than 'being right'. It really helped us resolve some conflicts we were having in just a couple sessions.

Great book, if nothing else to put the reader in a good place from which to operate in the best interests of the kids. ... Read more

Product Description

While more than half of all marriages end in divorce, joy and happiness does not have to die with it.  Happily Ever After Divorce: Notes of a Joyful Journey gives a seldom touched-on view of divorce – a positive view of life on the other side.   A uniquely upbeat approach to "going it alone," Happily Ever After Divorce shows readers how author Jessica Bram, an award-winning radio commentator and essayist, maintained a sense of self and humor during a most difficult time, and emerged triumphant.  

While being true to divorce's pain and challenges, Bram's personal stories reveal the exhilaration, joy, growth, and triumphs of moving through difficult times and emerging stronger and happier at the other end. In this candid, intimately written book, you will discover: 

•  How the author rebuilt her self-esteem through handling everything from everyday tasks to earning a living with newly discovered talents
• How children can thrive when parents approach custodial issues with respect
• The delightful aspects of spending time alone, single parenting, and unexpected friendships
• How Bram approached dating with humor and an upbeat attitude
• How, after rebuilding her life, the author opened her heart and found love again.

Customer Reviews (8)

This is an incomprehensibly tragic book
What do you think happens to the internal chemistry of three teenaged boys when they see their mom leaving the house to go spend the night with her boyfriend or even see their mom marry another man years later? (What would our community be whispering if the father of three daughters was doing that? Seems like it's ok for mothers of sons to have an outside involvement, but not ok for fathers of daughters.) It's irrelevant whether the parents are divorced or married. The emotional damage is the same.

This book has no credibility because it was written by the person who decided to dump her marriage. She could have done every one of the fabulous things she did post-marriage while staying married, other than getting married to someone else.

I am sure Jessica Bram's husband was far from perfect. It's guaranteed that she was, too. Unfortunately, many therapists are completely incompetent and think that marriage therapy consists of conducting debates between the members of the couple, so no one feels emotionally safe. Couples like Jessica and her husband who try and try with therapists end up thinking they're hopeless. We tried five different therapists, but my wife always found something wrong with them, and would never stay with any one for very long. Finally, she decided she had talked about it enough, the impact on the rest of us, our friends, our friends' children, our parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, future grandchildren, other members of our community be damned.

Stay far, far away from this book. Read Sue Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight", find a Sue Johnson trained therapist, recommit and save your marriage. Use your kids as motivation to stay together, then learn about attachment wounds and emotional dysregulation, gradually create a happy marriage, and you will benefit most of all.

This book is incomprehensibly tragic because it celebrates a completely preventable family catastrophe. It's also tragic because it has no doubt encouraged many people to leave their marriages when they could have saved them. I am not talking about abusive marriages, but ones that are ok -- and with children! -- like Jessica's, where she didn't feel the passion and where they had a hard time being together. I know from personal experience how extremely painful that is, but love is a verb, and she needed to work harder, or if not harder, differently, and so did her husband. They needed to work on themselves as individuals and on their ability to relate in marriage.

If he and she had put all the effort into their marriage that they put into their divorce, he, she and their children would ALL be better off today. Unfortunately, their children, like so many millions of children every year, learned by example that members of their most critical emotional support structure can be replaced, sort of like a worn out car part. This damages their ability to trust in a committed, lifetime relationship, and means they'll always be vigilantly checking to see if their spouse is looking for the exit. That vigilance will, in turn, damage their ability to develop intimacy. I wonder what the author is planning to say to her future daughter-in-law when one of her sons leaves his marriage having tried really hard and having done lots of therapy, but finding himself just unhappy?

Once a couple has children, their marriage becomes more than a (hopefully) enjoyable exchange of services. It becomes a healing journey and a karmic test. Couples which fail to heal and fail the test are simply passing the buck to their children and their grandchildren. There is very little controversy about this.

Divorce is a non-stop, broad-based, never-ending, lifelong, cross-generational emotional, mental-health and financial nightmare. We're years since separation and divorce and the damage just keeps piling up. Don't get me wrong - everyone's very polite, but here's one example: several couples we know are taking their children to Europe this summer. We've spent our money on a second residence that we don't need, so we're staying home. Five people don't get to go to Europe because one person decided to trample the rights of the other four instead of looking hard at her own role in the marriage dysfunction. Jessica Bram's case may be different, but ours is a tragic journey, not a joyful one.

Let's be very clear - parents' attacks on each other are direct attacks on their children. Saying "Mommy loves you but just not daddy any more" [or vice versa] is platitudinous bunk, so the person saying it better be sure the marital problems go way, way beyond unhappiness or boredom. There is so much good know-how out there; find it (I would start with the Sue Johnson book mentioned above) and give your children the emotional refuge of knowing that people within families never, ever, ever give up on each other (except in cases of clear abuse, untreatable addiction or law breaking, of course.)

Does anyone know of a book about how great life is after divorce by a person who was left (vs the one who did the leaving?)

The most realistic piece of literature about going through Divorce and the final outcome - Happiness!!
I finished the book last night and I must say this book is Pulitzer!

I have never in my 39 years of life read such realistic literary literature, ever!
This book, "Happily Ever After Divorce" is an exact replica of my life right now!
The only difference between this author's married life/divorce and mine is I'm African American, LOL!
The only part in her book that I have not experienced is the mother-in-law bonding after the
divorce, I filed in August 2009 and my mother-in-law and I still have not spoken yet.

After reading the book, I hated coming to the last page, it was that good!
I feel much better about my circumstances now after reading it and I'm encouraged to go to the end.
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks bright!!

Anyway, the climax in this book is on pg. 128 and it describes my whole 12 year marriage and why I filed for divorce, in the first paragraph it reads," So despite my otherwise normally independent nature, I tended to be uncharacteristically complacent about allowing myself to be led around.......The relaxation afforded by not having to find my way around seemed well worth the surrender of autonomy"....... Pulitzer!

Very helpful--even long, long after--
It was inspiring to encounter this memoir of/by Jessica Bram. Her story immediately walked off the page and into my thoughts and feelings. I was divorced many years ago, but I still wrestle with issues around the breaking up and making up of relationships.There i was in the coffee shop with her, doing the emails, making friends with the one I used to love, and finding I too could go on.One of the intriguing things about the book was the framing of each of the issues/moments in a separate chapter. I loved the titles--it meant i could easily return to a particular episode I wanted to re-experience. When i started the book, I began to read fast and furiously; it was as if I had been offered a sumptuous feast, lots of courses, none of which I could resist. But then I realized that the moments were even better when I slowed down and savored them, "consuming" only one--at most two--chapters at one reading session. It occurs to me as I write this, that Jessica's story would be especially good reading for folks who meet to share dilemmas about relationships.

A joy of a book !
What a breath of fresh air this book was !As a recently divorced 58-year old woman (of 2 grown daughters), I was struck by how similar our feelings and experiences were throughout the whole divorce process - feelings about our children, our ex-husbands being incredible fathers, trying to keep our kids whole and healthy throughout the process and everything else she captures so beautifully in her book.I was actually happy I read it AFTER my divorce, rather than while I was going through it.It allowed me to reflect on where I've been, where I want to go and how I might get there - at a time when my feelings were not so raw.
I didn't want this warm & tender book to ever end, and I will definitely re-read it.It was such a comfort to me.

Inspiring. A great read for any stage of the journey
I heard Jessica Bram speak at a book signing recently. As she read a passage from her book, my eyes welled up with recognition. Although her journey is uniquely her own, somehow Ms. Bram gets at the common threads, issues and fears for women who are considering divorce, in the thick of it or at the end of the process. Ms. Bram is authentic - a genuine voice that at times reveals the raw pain and fear of divorce, yet at other times, finds humor, a self-deprecating chuckle, to give us a little comic relief to what is an intense experience. The voice I heard at the book signing, is the same voice I heard as I read the book, which was like that of a friend, sharing her truth. The book is conveniently written in "digestible" essays - great for people like me who fall asleep regularly with a book on my chest. I would read one or two chapters then look forward to the next time when I could pick up and read any chapter I opened to. As one who is just beginning her own journey, I appreciated Ms. Bram's honest account and her hopeful view of happiness on the other side of divorce. ... Read more

Product Description
This workbook is designed to complement "DivorceHappens To The Nicest Kids" as it helps kids understand theirparents' divorce and themselves. It is designed to improve copingskills and confidence levels as kids become more aware of theirpositive aspects and inner strengths.

A fun workbook that includesdrawing, coloring, and matching activities. It has been successfullyused by parents and counselors in group and individual therapy. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Great resource for therapists
A practical and helpful resource for counselors and therapists working with children of divorce. Other helpful books on this topic include:

Creative Interventions for Children of Divorce

Dinosaurs Divorce

love this book
I have used this book for years and loved it in my clinical work with children and families. I have used it adaptively in group setting work in schools and other settings for divorce groups as well. Super resource.
You may want to try these as well:Creative Interventions for Children of DivorceAssessment and Treatment Activities for Children, Adolescents, and Families: Practitioners Share Their Most Effective TechniquesCreative Interventions for Troubled Children & Youth

good
good book, but not very school social work friendly, unless you buy a copy for each student.

Mediocre resource
Although this book covers many important topics related to divorce, the activities are mostly "paper-pencil" and therefore not very engaging for children.

Other books for mental health professionals working with children of divorce include:

Creative Interventions for Children of Divorce

Complete Group Counseling Program for Children of Divorce: Ready-To-Use Plans & Materials for Small & Large Groups, Grades 1-6

great book for my 6 year old
My six-year-old daughter loves this workbook.I think it is because it started out with questions about things OTHER than divorce, like "list three things that make you happy," and "draw a picture of you doing something you love."It eased into the more emotionally-charged issues, so by the time we got to them, she was comfortable with the process.I would recommend it, and the companion book for adults. ... Read more

Product Description
The popular author of THE DIVORCE HELPBOOK FOR KIDS is back with an all-new resource for teenagers in divorced and divorcing families. MacGregor knows that divorce can be especially tough on teens, and her warm and friendly guide offers a helping hand to teens struggling to answer the tough questions when their parents divorce: Why do parents get divorced? How will the divorce change our lives? What can I do to feel less depressed? Whom can I talk with about my problems? What’s likely to happen next? How do you tell absent parents that they don’t visit often enough? How do you say "no" to parents who want you to carry messages to, or spy on, the other parent? What is there to talk about when you visit a parent who’s moved away?

Packed with vignettes, strategies, and solid advice, THE DIVORCE HELPBOOK FOR TEENS is a resource teens will keep in their backpacks, on their bedside tables, and in their hearts as they go through the difficult times surrounding a family breakup. As MacGregor wisely counsels her readers: "You can’t undo the divorce, but you can change some of the hassles that resulted from it." ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

A guide for teenagers dealing with their parents divorce
The Divorce Helpbook For Teens is a straightforward guide for teenagers dealing with their parents' divorce. Addressing young people in a plain-terms manner without any condescension, it covers such common questions as why parents get divorced, how divorce changes people's lives, how to say "no" to a parent who wants the child to carry messages to (or spy on) the other parent, what to talk about when visiting a parent who moved away, and more. Examples flesh out the all-too-real dilemmas contemplated, and question-and-answer sessions spell out difficult issues in this highly recommended book for any young adult who must deal with the difficulty of their parents' separation.

Parents' Divorce Is Not the Teens' Mess!
Teen angst compounded by the turmoil of divorcing parents is not a subject for the fainthearted to tackle. But MacGregor's engaging style quickly establishes empathy with this challenging group, offering genuine warmth and reliable advice along with sensitivity to her readers' many vulnerabilities. Her objective is not to function as a single-handed self-help guru; throughout the book she reminds kids to turn to trusted individuals in their lives for additional help. She maintains a thoughtful level of clear-headed reassurance, gently urging teens to think outside their pain and confusion to realize they're not alone. This applies to all aspects of their experience of divorce, which MacGregor keenly understands as a uniquely stressful time for those "too young for childhood soothing and too young for adult stress relievers." She offers age-appropriate comforts, effective ways to fight depression, and reasonable options for regaining the sense of security that divorce shatters.

What I like best about this book, aside from MacGregor's unfailing instinct for zeroing in on issues crucial to teens, is her knack for relating to kids on a warm, nonjudgmental, respectfully informative way. Her attitude of compassionate practicality guides them -- without preaching -- to make wise choices. She counters common erroneous conclusions kids are apt to draw about divorce (I.e., it's their fault Mom and Dad broke up; they can get Mom and Dad back together, etc.), with insightful reality checks that avoid making the reader feel patronized. She's a staunch advocate, defending kids' right to refuse to participate in unfair tactics (like being used as messengers or spies) their divorced parents may resort to. At the same time, she underscores the importance of preserving relationships where possible by meeting each parent halfway.

Smart exercises like keeping a journal help teens in pain to vent and sort out their emotions. MacGregor's goal is to get kids to see that, while they can't undo the divorce, they can avoid many of the resulting hassles. This sense of control is a crucial gift this skilled, empathetic author offers her readers. Know a teen of divorce who's struggling to adjust? This book is a great starting point for clearing hurdles and moving forward. ... Read more

Product Description
DIVORCE AND THE MILITARY II (1999 Edition) is the newly published comprehensive guide for military members (active duty, reserve/guard, and retired), spouses, and their attorneys, on the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA). The USFSPA is the federal law that permits the award of military retired pay in a divorce. This book, which addresses the concerns of both parties in a military divorce, is the completely revised and expanded version of its successor, Divorce and the Military, published in 1994 by the American Retirees Association, a non-profit veterans organization. DIVORCE AND THE MILITARY II (1999 Edition) helps couples to identify, assess and negotiate the issues unique to military divorces. Readers will learn about the 20 factors that affect military divorces, and the 12 controversies (analyzed from case law) that have caused appeals in divorce cases (and how to avoid them). In addition, service members and spouses can learn how to avoid the pitfalls that can result from a lack of education and planning regarding military divorces. The new federal benefits chapter (that can serve as a discovery checklist) helps divorcing military couples to assess their current economic status and how it may change after the divorce. Another new chapter leads couples through the fiscal steps they should take for successful pre- and post-divorce financial management. Attorneys will find the new chapter on "51 Flavors and Counting" a comprehensive listing of how each of the states has interpreted the USFSPA and disability pay. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Biased, much?
I bought this book for professional use in helping military couples get divorced. I was terribly disappointed to find that the authors assume all military spouses to be greedy and evil and not entitled to anything from the active duty member, despite the status of the law. Dreadful.

Divorce and the Military II
This reference text trains and equips targeted career-minded service personnel to recognize the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act (10 USC 1408 Et Seq)as an avoidable grave personal threat.It is worth its weight in gold, at three times the cover price. ... Read more

Product Description
An internationally renowned authority on children and divorce reveals the latest research-based strategies for helping children survive and thrive before, during, and long after their parents divorce.

The breakup of a family can have an enduring impact on children. But as Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives.

Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath. Now she shares practical, research- based advice that helps parents:

•gain a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing

•develop emotionally intelligent parenting strategies with the critical combination of boundless love and appropriate limits on behavior

•reduce conflict with a former spouse and protect children from conflict's damaging effects

•learn what recent brain research reveals about stress and children's developing capabilities

Filled with the voices and drawings of children and the stories of families, Putting Children First delivers a positive vision for a future of hope and healing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

A Book Children Want Adults to Read
This outstanding book treats the challenge divorce presents to parents with respect, but not alarm. Dr. Pedro-Carroll does not spare the reader the harmful consequences a badly handled divorce can have for children.However, in every chapter, the author lays out clear and feasible options that all parents can draw on to help them and their children make it through divorce successfully.

This book speaks to a wide range of audiences -- parents, grandparents, mental health and legal professionals as well as folks like myself with friends and family members who face the challenge of divorce. Throughout the book, author's use of the research literature is clear and convincing.The case studies she uses are pointed, poignant and highly instructive.I feel like I "know" some of the people she describes; and I deeply appreciate the empathy and understanding the author brings to their situations.

Readers can open this book to any page or read it from front to back.In either case, you'll learn something important and useful about what it means and what it takes for parents and children to "make it" through this difficult transition.

Positive Perspective on Parenting
Here is a positive, practical approach to parenting based on more than aquarter century of research and practice with families.

In clear, concise language Dr. Pedro-Carroll addresses the series of inevitable challenges that occur when couples with children decide to divorce. With the same respect, truthfulness and caring that she encourages people to use with themselves and their children, Pedro-Carroll steadily guides parents through the emotional, practical and legal processes they confront while continuing to parent.

An extremely helpful "how-to" book, which focuses on ways to reduce conflict and build resilience, it offers an awareness not only of risk factors but also protective factors that can be used to sustain parents and children.

The book includes children's drawings and, in their own words, conveys worries, hopes, and ongoing attachment to both parents. The children's points of view, essential aspects of the book, allow readers--parents, teachers, lawyers and doctors--to better understand children and focus on their healthy growth and development.

Pedro-Carroll provides a clear view of what is possible.

Finally!
Finally, a book that separates the good sense from the nonsense! I found this book incredibly clear, straight-forward, and informative. It's nice to know that there are experts who really understand the awkward situations in which families -- and especially dads -- can find themselves.

Moving beyond pop psychology
Finally a well written book that provides evidence based strategies to help children through the emotional challenges associated with divorce.

Outstanding Contribution to Parents and Professionals
JoAnne Pedro-Carroll has brought together sound research, personal experience andthe insights from her practice to enlighten parents and professionals alike.Putting Children First imparts wisdom of the highest order - that which responds to the hearts of children who were brave enough to voice their needs and struggles when their parents separated or divorced.With clarity and compassion, this book informs the receptive reader how to take care of themselves and their children to protect their long-term health and well-being.In my practice as a mediator, I have already recommended this outstanding book to my clients.It is a contribution of utmost caring to parents who are struggling to maintain sense and sensibilities in the midst of emotional upheaval and a guide to preserve stability and demonstrate their deepest love for their children.
... Read more

Product Description
Some parents consciously, blatantly, and even maliciously denigrate their ex-spouse through negative comments and actions. Others simply sigh or tense up at the mention of the targeted parent, causing guilt and anxiety in the children. The result is a child full of hate, fear, and rejection toward and unknowing and often undeserving parent.

Exploring issues such as secrecy, spying, false accusations, threats and discipline, Divorce Casualties recognizes the often subtle causes of alienation, teaching you to prevent or minimize its damaging effects on your children. Dr. Darnall's practical techniques for understanding the effects of alienation, including characteristics of alienators, symptoms of alienators, a self-report inventory and exercises, and real-life examples, will help even the most well-intentioned of parents renew their commitment to helping their child maintain a healthy, happy relationship with both parents. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

A wake up call for all parents
For the past five years I have been involved with a 20 year established co-parenting organization.
I purchased Dr Darnall's book Divorce Casualties hoping to understand more about Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. I was truly impressed with how much this book has to offer. I found Divorce Casualties is not only a great work on PA and PAS but also an excellent guide for any parent concerned with how parent's words and actions affect the mental well being of their children. This is a book I will share with many parents - intact parents and divorced parents.
Thank you Dr. Darnall.

Very Informative! Excited for The new Book Reunifying the Alienated Family!
As Founders of The Lee P.A.S. Foundation, we have followed Dr. Douglas Darnall's work very closely. We have read, discussed, and referred each addition with many Parents of Alienation.

Our Foundation is a worldwide Organization, and if it were not for the dedication, pivotal research and work that has been put forth in each addition of this series, there would be no understanding at all of the dynamics that happens to our children and parents.

Many parents and family members can finally begin to understand the underlying issues of "how this could even happen to children who once had a loving relationship with both parents". Some are even in denial thinking that they must have done something wrong to deserve this or a family member may feel that way as well without understanding all the intricate points of the psychology behind this Disorder.

We frequently use Dr. Darnall's books as reference points for our support groups and as speaking points in lectures around the world. Dr. Darnall's next book is already on order for us as we would hope for many other families going through alienation, so that everyone can understand that therapy for an alienated child is not the same treatment for a child with other psychological issues. It will specifically be helpful in the re-unification process of Alienated Children and Parents.

You wouldn't go to a foot doctor for a heart problem would you? This is why there are specialists in this field, and we are fortunate enough to work closely with such an intelligent PhD as Dr. Douglas Darnall.

We thank you Dr. Darnall! Your work is very helpful to many, and healing as well.

Sincerely,

Katrina C. Daniels Lee
Founder/Exec. Director

Lisa Marzullo
Co-Founder/V.P.

The Lee P.A.S. Foundation
[...]
908-303-4817

Outstanding Resource for Therapists and Clients
As a practicing psychotherapist, I found this book to be outstanding.I am impressed with the intense detail and knowledge about parental alienation.I recommend to my patients who have concerns regarding parental alienation to read this book.I have just heard that the third book that Dr. Darnall wrote is coming out very soon.I have total confidence that this will be an absolutely great reference for everyone who has concerns with the topic of parental alienation.The follow up book is suppose to contain in-depth suggestions and more helpful treatment.

good but a little disappointing
Very informative and helpful, but it lacked concrete advice on how to counteract an ex's behavior and help your children get over their "brainwashing".I also purchased Divorce Poison, which I felt was much better at offering problem solving techniques.I do recommend you read both books though, the more info you can gather on this topic the better if you are in this situation.There are still lots of useful information and case examples in this book.

Informative
This book is informative and thorough. A must for parents going through divorce to better help their children and themselves. ... Read more

Product Description

Named One of the 10 Best Parenting Books of the Year by Child Magazine, this revised edition teaches you to minimize stress during initial breakups and ultimate separation, explain divorce so children don't blame themselves, protect children from parental hostilities, and navigate conflicts of loyalty and alliance.

... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Tough and honest
This is not the greatest of situations for my famiy, but this book helped all of us make it through in the best way possible.While reading about how to make it 'easiest' on my son, I also learned the best way to make it easiest on myself. I highly recommend this book.

Most Important Book for Divorced Parents
Should be required reading for all parents going through a divorce.This book really puts the kids first, and discusses how children of varying ages will react differently to divorce.It gives the absolute best advice for keeping your children healthy both during and after of a divorce.I send this book to all my friends who are contemplating or experiencing a divorce.

this book is the best.
I have many problems with the divorce I started 6 years ago. The statistical information, research, details, and background information of what divorce does to families is very helpful. The way these are helpful to me is that they show what the results have been with many of the particular choices that divorces have raised in the past, and what current trends in these are showing.
The descriptions that are given about what feelings children endure are gripping. I came to truly understand what our three have had to bury in their beings. Now, before its too late, however, I have unique insight that will enable me to help them --hopefully with their father.
I cannot write too much about the value of knowing what divorce does to children, how to help them heal, how to take charge of the situation that seems hopeless, and what to NOT do.
...Tanya Hogan

Really does help
I realy enjoyed reading this book because it made sence and it helped me.Not only did it help me cope with my child,but also with the father of my child.We came to an understanding for the sake of the child.I highly recommend this book to whomever that are going through a divorce. ... Read more

Product Description
A timely revision of a compassionate guide to the practical and emotional aspects of divorce The first edition of Divorce and New Beginnings helped countless men and women emerge from ruptured relationships and build new lives. Enriched with new insights uncovered by researchers and in the author’s work with over 2,000 families, this sensitive guidebook provides a wealth of proven coping skills to help you weather the difficult times and eventually build new beginnings—for yourself and, if you have them, your children. Genevieve Clapp is with you every step of the way as you deal with and recover from your divorce, addressing your daily problems and long-term concerns with a real-world practicality. Utilizing numerous case studies and coping tools, Clapp provides you with a road map of what lies ahead, including tips on navigating problematic situations such as choosing a lawyer and dealing with anger and anxiety. Geared directly to your specific needs, Divorce and New Beginnings will help you nurture healthy, committed relationships and successful stepfamilies, protect your children and build a rewarding new life.

• Includes updated information on co-parenting and new romantic relationships
• Offers hundreds of practical suggestions and effective coping strategies based on the findings and collective insights of experts
• Features a strong focus on children and divorce, with a step-by-step guide on fostering their long-term adjustment

Customer Reviews (3)

Comprehensive divorce survival guide
This is an ambitious book. Author Genevieve Clapp, Ph.D., tackles the divorce process from the practical to the emotional. She guides you through the initial breakup, the intense emotional aftermath, the return to single life and the challenges facing stepfamilies. Dr. Clapp also gives solid, actionable advice about co-parenting and helping your children handle the rupture in their lives. Although the book is hampered by endless repetition, and the constant citation of studies and research, this same weakness enables you to use it as a reference. You can read only the chapters that pertain to your situation and still get all the necessary information. getAbstract recommends Clapp's all-inclusive guide to anyone contemplating a breakup, in the midst of a divorce, or newly single.

A Great Resource for Those Going Through A Divorce
My Mom picked up this book for me at a yard sale when I was in the very early phases of my seperation & divorce and I can't tell you what a lifesaver it was for me!
It's a great all around resource that covers the many different aspects of divorce/divorce recover, and even some good basic advice on what to expect during the worst part of a divorce - the legal wrangeling phase. The book also has lots of good information on how to help your kids during through the challenging times of a divorce.
I have given copy after copy to people who are going through divorces and they have all found it useful.

Covers all bases
This book is a one-stop source for a very difficult reason to read a book...it's definately not to kill time. Since no one wants to read a book on how to divorce and start over...it's good that someone (Genevieve Clapp) took the time to make it organized and easy.Another good thing about this book is that it makes you evaluate or re-evaluate the decision to ever marry again. I think single women even considering marrying an 'at risk' guy should read it to see if it's worth the trouble. ... Read more

Product Description
" Sizzle Factor: SPF 50. A secret marriage, lies about affairs . . . even sex on the day of the divorce party" (USA Today)-the hottest beach read of the summer

Laura Dave is widely recognized as an up-and-coming talent in women's fiction. Now, with her characteristic wit and warmth, she captures a much-discussed cultural phenomenon that has never been profiled in fiction before-divorce celebrations. Set in Hamptons high society, The Divorce Party features two women-one newly engaged and one at the end of her marriage-trying to answer the same question: when should you fight to save a relationship, and when should you let go?

An insightful and funny multi-generational story, this deeply moving novel is sure to touch anyone whose heart has weathered an unexpected storm. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (43)

IT'S INSPIRED!
Weddings and divorces are opposite in nature but the same as in the opportunity to start anew. Of course, most of the time there is one party of the couple who is hurting and sees it as an end. Most stories are about the journey of the young, perfect people to the falling in love, then to the happily ever after marriage. How inventive to start at this point of lives and have a party to celebrate it! I love it! This is an enjoyable and entertaining read that captures the complexity of relationships, the challenges of marriage and beyond and the importance of really knowing someone. I love the well-to-do age group with such rich lives and so much more on the go than a simple love relationship. A couple throws a smashingparty on their thirty-fifth anniversary to celebrate, not the event itself, but the fact that the marriage is finally at an end. The "perfect couple" proves to still be perfect right down to the divorce. It's inspired!

I also love books by picoult, kingsbury, Pirrung and Rivers.

Great
Laura Dave's sophomore novel was equally captivating as her first one. Her writing style is engaging and draws the reader to the lives of the characters. It is a novel that will need to be read agan simply because she writes so beautifully.

Bravo
The thought behind this tale is important to consider, but the writer seems a bit unsure about the subject matter.Change is always hard and it only gets worse when you are not in favor of the circumstances that cause the change, but life goes on with or without us. Any long term relationship has to be considered successful, but it makes it more difficult to have it end the longer is has survived. Every heart and every mind has to deal with what life brings and putting a happy, favorable face on the problem can be the best first step to take.A party for divorce may not be the proper term, but it does connote a celebration of a new beginning after a long, familiar run that cannot be maintained.Moving on can be sad or something better...it is an individual choice and this story gives several sides to this debate.

A good question
Is it better to lie about your past or your future?Does it matter whom you tell the lie too?Perhaps we lie about our past in order to reinvent ourselves.Trying to cover up the mistakes that we made.But when we lie about our futures then we lie to ourselves and forget where we came from and all that we learned and worked through.This is definitely a poignant book that looks at these difficult questions.I think Ms. Dave even gave some foreshadowing of the possible outcomes for one of the characters choices.Do people stop and think about all they worked through to get to the point where they are in life realizing that without that they wouldn't be who they are today?Or do they just look for that one feel good moment and grasp on to it forgetting everything else?

excellent
This book was oddly moving. In it, both female characters make important discoveries about their relationships, but more importantly, about themselves. I absolutely loved it! ... Read more

Product Description
It’s the End of Your Marriage–Not Your Life.

Few experiences bring more pain than divorce. Like the death of a loved one, divorce plunges us into grief and loneliness, heartache and depression. Perhaps worst of all, divorce makes us believe that all that is meaningful and joyful has come to an end. Do not believe it.

Better Days Are Just Ahead.

You already know that divorce is one of the greatest challenges you will ever face. Yet it also can trigger tremendous growth in several key areas, including your relationships, the way you see yourself, and how you live out your faith. No one is calling divorce a blessing. But it is something that you will live through and that can help to powerfully transform you into the person God has created you to be.

Whether you are in the earliest stages of divorce, are newly single again, are processing an earlier divorce, or know someone whose marriage is ending, New Life After Divorce offers encouragement and hope that this new life will be a good life–and the promise that healing, strength, purpose, and joy are around the corner. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Personal Experience Plus Wisdom
All of us who have experienced a divorce will relate to this author's story and this author's pain. He writes with the depth of insight that is only possible for those of us whose journeys have led through the valleys of divorce.

This book is part memoir, part self-help, and all useful. I've recommended it to friends and patients; everyone who has read it was positive in their response. Men relate to it especially well.

I've read dozens of divorce titles and this is among the better ones in the category.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

Great Resource for already divorced people
I used this with a group of already divorced people and it was simple to read and easy to understand.There were many practical examples that were very helpful to the individuals using it.It was not clinical by any means and this translated into postive results.

There is also a workbook that can be used with it and I would highly reccomend both.This was the only study for divorced people with a workbook available that I could find...and I searched.

New Life Promise
I have read this book, and bought several as gifts for people in a divorce recovery group.Bill Butterworth is very open and honest about the pain he endured through this difficult transition.I also endured a painful divorce and work with a recovery group.I am always on the lookout for information that will reach out to others and assure them that divorce is not the end--God has a wonderful plan for you and He can and will heal your ravaged heart.I highly recommend this book.

Resonating With Truth
Whenever divorce hits your life, it hurts. Bill Butterworth had a wife of seventeen years, five kids, and a career as a speaker and writer on issues of marriage and family. Divorce definitely knocked the wind out of his life, and he didn't work for six months. As he writes in the opening pages of his book, "I lived each day waiting for the phone to ring, hoping my wife would say she wanted to get back together. That phone call never came." While he understands the pain of divorce, this book is focused on helping the reader gain encouragement and hope to get through it.

Butterworth combines pointed storytelling with wise how-to information and a mixture of some Scripture to help the reader take concrete steps forward. At first, he tackles the basics: the need for acceptance from self, the need for healing from God, and the need for help from others. Then he considers the advantage of time, distance and wise counsel combined with valued relationships and tapping into the power of forgiveness. The third section of the book examines some practical matters for many in this situation such as single parenting, getting along with your ex-spouse, and the different type of dating scene.

Butterworth writes with humor as well as vulnerability about his first date with Kathi (who eventually became his wife). "I asked her out for dinner that evening. She said, yes, and I was as excited as a schoolboy. I was also dumb as a schoolboy; I had neglected to handle a few key issues surrounding a successful date. Sheepishly I had to call Kathi to resolve my sloppy planning." While Butterworth planned a date, he didn't have transportation since he took a cab from the airport to the hotel. He writes, "'So I don't have a car. I was wondering if you would mind driving...' Those last words just seemed to hang out there forever. 'No problem.' She continued to sound sweet... You drive; I'll buy! Was the worst retort I could have used. So, naturally I used it. She laughed. I winced. But God allowed a wonderful evening to take place." On his first date, he even gave Kathi the Myers Briggs Type Indicator personality test. Yes --- really. The date worked out and they've been married ten years.

Anyone in a divorce is in the middle of some huge life changes, and Butterworth tackles these issues in the final section of his book. How do you manage change and the associated fears? He taps the ultimate resource for these situations --- God's power. "God's power is in His word, the Bible. For those of us who read these words, the Scriptures are our ultimate source of healing, encouragement and energy. He gives us the power we need to make it day by day as we spend time reading, reflecting and meditating on His truth." Also this final section addresses the often asked question, Where is God? And then, How Do I Get A Second Wind?

While it's been over ten years since I've walked the path of divorce, I found reading Butterworth's advice that those emotions were close to the surface of my emotions. The stories and the practical how-to information touched something deep inside and I could resonate with the truth in these pages. NEW LIFE AFTER DIVORCE is a solid resource to help the many people who are thrust into divorce. You can definitely see the author has walked the walk and talks the talk.

--- Reviewed by W. Terry Whalin ... Read more

Product Description

With answers you won't get anywhere else, What Your Divorce Lawyer May Not Tell You is an invaluable source of step-by-step advice on everything you'll need to survive your marriage's end...and get on with the rest of your life. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Very pleased
The book was in excellent condition and it was very resourceful for my purpose. Delivery took about 2wks or so. But everything arrived in great condition and as promised. And product was shipped within few days or less. ... Read more

Product Description
One day you log onto the computer and notice that your husband has a secret screen name: HotRod287. Next thing you know, black turtlenecks and a leather bomber jacket are his hip new signature look. And those long blonde hairs in his sports car? Sorry sweetie, but they're not from your golden retriever. Because they have dark roots - under your magnifying glass.

Still Hot is a completely hilarious and saucy survival guide that takes you from the first inkling that your marriage is toast to regaining your long-forgotten inner peace, and all the bizarre tragicomedy that comes in between.

Throughout, you'll get practical tips, like:
* how to trash those photos of your ex (Send his new babe all the shots that show more hair in his ears than on his head.)
* what to do if your bedroom seems vacant without him (Buy a giant fern.)
* creative ways to meet new men (Get a job in a urologist's office.)
* invaluable first-date DONTs (Never call your divorce lawyer from the table.)

Through checklists, quizzes, and wacky vignettes, you'll recognize yourself on every page -- playing Internet solitaire on Saturday night, memorizing the generic name for Valium (diazepam), weeding out the geeks on match.com, and praying that your ex's new babe's implants will rupture. In a public place.

Still Hot is the perfect girlfriend gift. Buy it for yourself, your friends, your sister, maybe even your mother - anyone, in fact, who could use a good laugh when she finds herself suddenly single. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (12)

sensible underneath it all
Behind the uncontrolled New York quipping and sitcom stereotyping --- if the authors interviewed anyone thoughtful, considerate of the other party, much less introspective or, indeed, sad, it seems they left such feelings out --- there's actually a book here containing sound advice, judgment, and commiseration.

*Hot* can be recommended for anyone in the predicament, provided you can get past the shtick.

Hilarious! The smart and funny ultimate survival guide.
"Still Hot" is absolutely hilarious!
Loved it - from the opening something's fishy heads up, "Spotting an Alien", through the comical "Do's and Don'ts" and the spot on "Internet: Cracking the Code" advice, all the way to "Hello Tomorrow."

Funnily enough, "Still Hot" is alive with really useful advice, not only for surviving divorce but also for living modern life. I recommend it for anyone facing any kind of challenge at any time. It is sure to help with keeping things in the proper perspective.

It's smart and funny - and it's got style.

Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After
Divorce is probably one of the most traumatic events in a person's life: to have to separate from the one person that you have shared a serious amount of time and intimacies with and possibly had children with, is all about having to change habits, to reinvent oneself. The authors have managed to face this trauma with Humor (with a capital "H"), to get up after they were down, to face life head-on, and with laughter. I admire their strength, their fighting spirit. I know it was not easy, but "Still Hot" makes it look like they could handle anything - it's a terrific book, deep, human and fun. Enjoy.

almost makes divorce seem fun....not really
While in the midst of a divorce reading about it could seem like adding insult to injury.The authors here speak to women at their most vulnerable moment with a touch of humor and understanding that allowsreaders to open up and be able to take in some of the insight and advice the authors generously share.It's up there together with a best girlfriend giving support during a difficult time.

a MUST read whether you're divorced, married, or single- as long as you like to laugh!
I've picked the book up three times since I first read it - just to check out some of the anecdotes again, because I love to laugh!The authors nailed it.They don't preach; they don't wallow in self-pity.Life is too short for that.They just make you laugh hysterically, nodding your head at the truisms you're reading, and it doesn't matter a whit if you've never been divorced or even married for that matter.I don't think there's anyone who won't relate to this great book.It's not read it and weep. It's read it and laugh 'til tears stream down your face. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (4)

A great, commonsense book
During divorce, people get caught up in destructive emotions.This book helps keep things in perspective and lays out common sense ways to approach divorce.So good, I sent a copy to my soon-to-be ex.

Very Insightful
I read this book before filing for a divorce. It was unbelievably helpful and really gave me great alternatives and strategies for a more amicable situation. While my situation was not as complex as others, I feel as though this book is worth the read for anyone who is contemplating divorce or preparing to file for divorce.

Very well written. Great information.
Very good job covering many aspects of divorce including addressing many different scenarios which may fit your situation.Also gives great advice about looking out for yourself (your mental and physical health) and keeping your sanity during these typically unsettling times. Provides very useful insight into the divorce process and if both parties involved follow the advice in this book, they will likely come to a quicker, more amiable conclusion that both can live with while saving thousands of dollars in legal fees. Also, the forms on the included disk are very useful and enlightening. I was able to get a very good estimate of the child support and alimony amounts.

Helping You Develop The Right Mindset
"Make Any Divorce Better" gives a different perspective on divorce than most books currently available.Ed Sherman has a true understanding of the dynamics of divorce, and points out that ending a marriage is more than just a legal action.The "real" divorce involves disentangling yourself and your identity from your spouse (and this is where the real work begins).Luckily, you can avoid some of the emotional landmines that can result in a court battle by reading the helpful tips and strategies in this book.

For example, instead of automatically turning to a lawyer when you first consider divorce, Ed Sherman points out why it's best to analyze your situation and take things slowly.By trying to keep the divorce process as conflict-free as possible, most people are more satisfied with the outcome as compared to those who choose to battle it out in court.

The accompanying CD offers a lot of worksheets to help you gather information, develop a budget, and determine assets and debts. For potential custody battles, there is a childcare tasks worksheet to help show the degrees of parental involvement.You will also find a discharge of attorney form, sample settlement agreements, detailed and simple parenting plan agreements and worksheets, as well as child support guidelines and enforcement links.The post-divorce checklist will help jog your memory concerning of what needs to be taken care of after you get a divorce judgment.What is really nice about this CD is that you will be able to fill out the information and print out the worksheets for later reference.

While it would be nice if every divorce was amicable, "Make and Divorce Better" also give you strategies to help navigate divorce when faced with domestic abuse and high-conflict situations, as well as how to prepare yourself for a legal battle.This is definitely a book that I would recommend.
... Read more

Product Description
In an age when the pressures on marriage are heavier than ever and divorce is more accepted and easier to obtain, marriages seem to fail as often as they succeed. As an adult child of divorce, Dr. John Trent offers insights into why adult children of divorce tend to repeat their parents' mistakes. He then lays out a plan for a lifelong marriage that is strong and healthy. Couples will learn how to avoid repeating the mistakes that often lead to divorce. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Breaking the Cycle of Divorce
This is a good book not just for children of divorce but for marital partners of divorce to avoid failure in their next marriage.

Please read this book
Anyone whose parents have been divorced and is interested in a relationship themselves should read this book.
Anyone who loves someone whose parents have been divorced should read this book.
Anyone who wishes their parents had gotten a divorce (and lived with the fighting and yelling all their lives) should read this book.

I just wish I'd bought the book sooner.

Doesn't sugarcoat the challenge of overcoming the past
In Breaking the Cycle of Divorce, author John Trent drives a hard bargain with adult children of divorce (ACOD) by stating that they will continue under the curse of divorce unless they choose to break through to a fresh start.A product of a broken home himself, Trentpleads with ACOD's to break this cyclical pattern, and he shows them how to go about it.

The author defines the curse of divorce as a stream that's been dammed up, cutting off the flow of "love, support, and good modeling of a healthy marriage."Besides pointing out twelve negative manifestations of this curse, Trent also delivers the good news of how to reverse the cycle. "You can pick a different outcome and make it your reality," he insists.

As President of the Center for Strong Families, Dr. John Trent is dedicated to helping many emotionally injured people to break free from the devastation of divorce.He leaves the reader virtually no space to wonder if it's worth the effort."Well, I'm living proof that...you do so...for your children, your grandchildren, and generations even in the distant future."

The needling questions at the end of each chapter may benefit readers beyond ACOD's who have other destructive patterns to overcome.Some may find Trent's textbook-approach a little cut and dried, but his truth and warmth definitely come through as well. He doesn't sugarcoat the challenge of overcoming one's past, but he also makes the reader feel that with Trent as a coach, and with prayer and trust in God, one can triumph. - Cheryl A. Cecil, Christian Book Previews.com
... Read more

Product Description
Hock the platinum. Take down the vacation photos. Cancel the joint checking account.

There's no question . . . Divorce Sucks. And perhaps no one knows that better than author Mary Jo Eustace, whose ex-husband Dean McDermott married Tori Spelling a mere thirty days after their divorce was finalized. One part tell-all and one part guide to get readers on their feet after a bitter breakup, this hilarious addition to the bestselling Sucks series tells everything readers don?t want to know about divorce - from what a phone call with a lawyer will cost; to how to handle your newer, younger replacement; to what Hollywood divorcees are actually thinking when they watch their ex walk the red carpet with a millionairess. Sometimes horrifying, sometimes gratifying, and never merciful, this book will give readers an inside look at one of today?s most public divorces while reminding them - hey, it could always be worse. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (25)

Takes Two to Tango
I give MJE credit for not making this a tell all book.But she does point the finger at the Tori and Dean as being the cause of the divorce.It bothered me that she didn't take responsibility in the demise of the marriage that led to the affair (which I don't condone either.)The whole victim thing doesn't sit well with me. Maybe that set my tone for the rest of the book because I had a hard time getting through it.Other times I thought she sounded on the edge of bitter.While I did appreciate her attempt at humor, it wasn't written very well overall.

Divorce would suck I agree
My thoughts about wanting to get the book is to know what type of relationship her and Dean had... I honestly believe that thier relationship was just not there before Tori even came in the picture... There are so many people getting into a divorce now a day like it is a boyfriend/girlfriend break up...
I believe that the vows is your promise to the lord...
I agree and dont think that people who stray is ok, but, I do believe that if the person is alive but the relationship is dead in my opinion I feel you are alreadyalone...
The problem with the divorce Mary had to go thru is much different than a non celebrity person... She had to deal with this in public which I think is far more humiliating! I give Mary a lot of credit to get it out and she does have class!
Many people these days feed on nothing but gossip and there is no class, no function in life but to follow the path of the negative...

Not what I expected
If I had known this book was more of a self-help book on surviving a divorce, I would not have bought it.I was under the impression it was going to be more like what she went through herself with Dean and the divorce.95% of the book gave you tips and ideas on how to cope dating again, etc. I found it very slow and boring.

bla
I thought I was going to hear the juicy gossip about how Tori stole her husband coming from Mary Jo's side. I stopped reading it because it is how to deal with divorce. I have never even been married. I will try to give it to someone who can appreciate it more

Bitter, bitter, bitter
This book drove me crazy, for so many reasons.First, the cover promises dish on Tori and Dean and doesn't deliver.Makes me think there is not a lot of bad stuff to say about them.Secondly, she is all about taking your ex back to court to get more money.Life is too short to waste everyone's time this way.In this day and age you shouldn't walk into a marriage and have kids unaware of the fact that it could end - without your permission - at anytime.Lastly, she talks about remarriage and being a stepmom when she has done neither!Her idea of just having an honest conversation with her new husband and his kids to straighten out any issues is laughable.My only hope is that she becomes rich and famous just so Tori and Dean can take her to court! ... Read more

Product Description
A FriAndlier and Less Expensive Divorce

Clients arriving in your office are usually confused about what mediation means, their legal rights, and how it's all going to be sorted out. You spAnd a good deal of your time just trying to educate them enough to proceed.

The Divorce Mediation Handbook does much of this work for you. It explains the mediation procedure and reassures your clients that they can indeed work out their divorce in a reasonable and civil manner in mediation. It also gives them a great deal of information about

• how children respond to divorce
• how property issues are addressed
• how future support may be considered
• how to prepare for mediation

Paula James, who has mediated over 600 divorces, offers the divorcing couple an encouraging and highly informative book to prepare them for your first session and the work ahead.

... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Very easy to understand
I found this book to be very helpful to me.I needed to know if mediation was for me.Divorces can be very expensive (I have friends who have gone through them) and I didn't want attorneys to get the better deal. Chapters include how mediation differs from litigation.If it's the best choice for you.Choosing a mediator and their role.The process of mediation...children and finanacial issues.In essence, it takes you from start to finish.The scenarios with different couples were so varied that I am sure you will find a situation that is similar to yours.A must read if you want to know how it all works.I learned so much from this book that I would recommend it to anyone contemplating... ... Read more

Customer Reviews (26)

A necessary education
I was in shock before I read this book; now I am angry and depressed.The author explains through examples just how openly biased against hard-working, tax-paying American citizens the family court system is.I no longer feel baffled at people who lose it and shoot up a family courtroom, just pity - they probably didn't read this book, didn't realize just how thoroughly MADD and NOW and every other woman's NGO has biased judges and the social welfare system against them.I feel no sympathy for the judges caught in these events - they have every opportunity to behave responsibly but, ninety-nine times out of one hundred, take the lazy way out.Not a great book - I would have preferred to understand the legal reasoning behind the chain of decisions that brought us to this horrible state - but a necessary heads-up for any man caught in the spider-web of divorce.Very much worth the money, IMHO.

recieved book with a .50 garage sale price tag after paying $12.00
I was shocked when I recieved this book after paying around $12.00 for the book I recieved it with the back cover cut and a .50 garage sale price tag on it. How embarrassing. I've descided to start looking at the thrift shops before I ever make another impulse buy like that again. As for the seller, not very fair pricing if you ask me, but what comes around goes around. Never have to worry about repeat business from me or anyone I chat with.

Good, but read FAMILY COURT HELL as well...
The Fathers' Emergency Guide is good, talks all about the pitfalls that lie in wait for a divorcing father faced with an hostile mother intent on denying him his kids. I found reading FAMILY COURT HELL (available on amazon) afterwards, I felt very positive througout the darkest times in my own child access battle. FAMILY COURT HELL goes inside a real life child access case that went on for ten years-and only resolved because of the fathers' determination to see his kids and not give up. Both books are must reads for any father struggling against a hostile mother and a legal system that does not help him.

Info reasonable (if dating quickly), but twisted by anger
While much of the info is correct (if changing quickly, thanks to the rise of shared-custody arrangements), the tone perpetuates the stereotype of raging ex-husband who demonizes the wife, and aims to "win".There's no winning with an attitude like this.And I see this attitude leaving woman after woman feeling like she has to simply shut down any attempt at communication and relationship-building with her ex.

Bottom line:There are mature points between "but I trusted her completely and gave her everything" and "kill".I would read it for the raw info, but leave the emotion behind, and leave the emergency out.Divorce doesn't need any more sense of emergency.

I would also recommend Mr. Seidenberg read Joan Williams' critique of child support and reconsider his notion of what child support is.

Realistic
this book is informative.It shows you what you might expect.For me, it was a review of what has happened and a quick look at what I might have to look forward to.It was a good book.It showed me that my illogical, so to be ex-wife, is not the only woman out there who cares more about herself than the best interests of her child.When do we, as a society, get real about this and do something about it?Keep in mind that the best way to divorce (even with children involved) is to be able to discuss things with your spouse and to work them out amicably.If that is not happening please, for the sake of yourself and your children, do not just roll over and let her walk over you.Read this book or a book like it, and seek out an attorney who communicates and has experience with what you are going through.It will cost money but it is well worth it.Most of all, your child will appreciate the effort you put forth to continue your relationship with her (or him). ... Read more

Product Description
A companion to Divorce Casualties, this is a workbook for severely alienated children and their parents. Learn about unification therapy, how to prepare for reunification, how to work with attorneys and mediators, and even how to say goodbye if reunification is not possible. This book also provides real life examples of alienating behavior, with instructions and exercises for how to change feelings and behavior. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

TALK SHOW HOST GIVES 5 STARS
I am a radio and television host and I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Doug Darnall, Ph.D about his fantastic book "beyond divorce casualties." It is an incredible book that is a must have for everyone going through a divorce.It is well-written, informative, and full of real stories that bring the important issues home.Get this book!You will be so glad you did.Lisa Davis, MPH [...]

A thoughtful read with valuable advice
The marriage may end, but the family doesn't have to. "Beyond Divorce Casualties" discusses those most severely affected by divorce: the children. With plenty of advice on how to bring back the feeling of family when all seems lost, author Douglas Darnall encourages parents to keep working together for the sake of their children if nothing else. "Beyond Divorce Casualties" is a thoughtful read with valuable advice.

It is about time for answers
It is very distressing to see so many families that are victims of alienation and not having better answers to help with reunification. This book offers direction and answers for helping these families. The book gives very concrete strategies for bring about change. As a clinician it is very helpful to have this book as a resource to recommend to my clients. This is a great book that I recommend strongly for both therapists and parents. ... Read more