Product Description
We've heard from the parents and stepparents. We've heard from the child psychologists and family counselors. Now let the children speak.

Here are the wise words of ten children who grew up in stepfamilies. They are young enough to remember the experience well and old enough to have learned from it. They not only offer their poignant stories, but they add advice specifically marked for parents, stepparents, and even stepchildren. They come from different races, economic levels and from various parts of the country, but all of their stories reverberate with truth and a desire to help others.

The author, a parent and stepparent herself, knew the right questions to ask and knew how to help them translate their sometimes painful experience into lessons from which all of us can learn. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Always from the other side
While this book is well conceived, researched, written, and is an interesting concept, I found it tiresome to hear again the grievances from the stepchildren's side.Being a stepchild and a stepmother, I can appreciate the difficulties from both sides, however it always seems to end up being about the stepchildren, their plight, their sensitive feelings, and what we can all do to cushion their fragility.Little thought or consideration being given for the 'dreaded' stepmother/father.It would have been a nice adjunct to have an equal number of stepparents interviewed to give their view, advice, and insights.

Step Into the Children's Shoes
What a powerful and much-needed resource for stepfamilies! So many stepfamily issues can be prevented or solved if the adults involved will do their best to "Step Into the Children's Shoes." Many thanks to Susan Philips for her work in bringing this important book to life. As much as I try to step into all my children's shoes and remain sensitive to their feelings on this complicated stepfamily journey, her book opened my eyes further and gave me new insights. What a gift that through Stepchildren Speak we can learn from the voices of grown-up stepchildren who have shared their stories, their struggles, their triumphs and their advice, so that we might all be better parents and stepparents NOW.

What Stepchildren Really Think
If you've ever wondered what stepchildren truly think about their experiences growing up in a stepfamily, then you need to check out Stepchildren Speak: Ten Grown-Up Stepchildren Teach Us How to Build Healthy Stepfamilies. Author Susan Phillips profiles ten people in their late twenties and early thirties who grew up in stepfamilies. The interviewees describe how it feels to juggle in between households and to navigate homes with different values. This book does not spare any punches - it looks at stepfamilies with honesty - in both their bad and good aspects. In some cases the interviewees describe selfish and even abusive behavior from their guardians. In others they talk about positive relationships with siblings and parental figures, the merits of learning how to accept other people's differences, and talents they discovered because of the influence of a stepparent. Drawing on their own experiences, the interviewees offer advice to stepparents and stepchildren.

Stepchildren speak
Stepchildren Speak competently answers a grave need of our families today.Straight "from the horse's mouth," so to speak, this book provides an intimate, caring view into those who have walked this path -- and survived.A "must read" for anyone contemplating marriage to one with children.

Marcille M. Nay
Grandmother to 39

from the mouths of babes
How brilliant and selfless of Susan Philips to let the stepchildren give advice and insight into stepparenting, rather than put it in her own words.The experiences that these ten stepchildren share are diverse, but the commonality of feelings are strikingly similiar.For anyone who is in the midst of stepparenting, or about to embark on this journey, I would strongly recommend that they read this heartfelt book. ... Read more

Product Description
Statistics tell us that one in three Americans is a member of a stepfamily. Though rarely acknowledged in churches even today, millions of Christians struggle with the obstacles common in divorce and remarriage. A stepmother herself, Natalie Gillespie offers hope and healing to stepfamilies who are striving to achieve harmony in their households. This handbook addresses the many issues stepfamilies work through, including part-time parenting, discipline, issues with former spouses, and intimidating legal battles. With clear, readable prose and helpful suggestions, it will put any stepfamily on the road to wholeness. ... Read more

Product Description
"One Family, Two Family, New Family" is a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner.

For stepparents, dating single parents and befuddled relatives of stepparents, One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies provides a dose of reality about stepfamily life. It describes how writer Lisa Cohn and Ph.D. psychologist William Merkel tackle numerous stepfamily challenges during their first years together. One Family, Two Family, New Family is filled with practical advice about stepparenting plus honest tales from Cohn, Merkel and three other families about the joys, triumphs, heartbreaks and challenges of stepfamily life. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Disappointed
I read great reviews about this book but found it very disappointing.There were many opportunities for the Dr. to offer more practical advice but it was often overshadowed by Lisa's unnecessary fantasy details.There were many issues with this family that the book glossed over, particularly along the lines of the Dr. not wanting to tell others about Lisa's pregnancy out of fear of upsetting his daughter. Also there was the issue of the bond between Lisa and her son that was never really addressed.In many ways it seems as if they learned how not to tackle the issues (i.e. Lisa and the Dr. sleeping on seperate floors so their children could maintain a sense of the exclusivity of their previous lives without the blended family) but to mitigate them through avoidance.I was frustrated with the intimate details of what kind of outfit the baby wore or how many plates were set for Christmas dinner. The new baby that was created between them seemed to have been created as a business arrangement in some ways.

Not quite what I was looking for and disappointing since so many swear by this book.

No Other Stepfamily Book Like This!
A lot of stepfamily books give you one-size-fits-all advice.This book does a wonderful job of showing that stepfamilies are very complex, and there is no cookie-cutter approach to forming them. Authors Cohn and Merkel demonstrate the importance of taking into account each family member's personality. The authors really connect with you emotionally. They show you that stepfamily issues are very emotionally charged, and that you can't discount all the feelings that arise in stepfamilies. They describe all the hard work and emotion that goes into making decisions in a stepfamily.It was very moving for me to read this book. I learned that if you really love someone, and you want to make a stepfamily work, you have to throw out some of the conventional wisdom about families. You can't try a cookie cutter approach; you have to be creative. After reading this book, I went out and bought a present for my husband's ex-wife!

A book for all stepfamilies
Lisa Cohn and Bill Merkel have written a book packed with practical tips and wonderful insights about the dynamics of stepfamilies. The authors do a great job describing their own personal story, and weave in the experiences of other stepfamilies. They also balance the personal anecdotes with research and advice to help readers understand the big picture and the challenges and joys facing all stepfamilies. The writing is fresh, honest and compelling. A must for blended families!

Great read for all stepfamilies
I am the stepfather of three kids, and I read this book at the advice of my wife when we were having trouble with my kids and her kids... and the relationship between them... and reading Cohn's book really helped me understand some of the things that were going on with them and how I should react to them. Reading it helped me figure things out that I never would have if I hadn't. Definately a must-read for all stepfamilies.

Great advice for all families
Cohn and Merkel weave practical advice with absorbing and sometimes humorous tales of their stepparenting journey. This book is more than a how-to; it reads like a well-written family drama. I finished it wondering what would happen next with this family and hoping for a sequel. It also occurred to me that "One Family, Two Family" is likely to appeal to all families - not just stepfamilies --since much of the insightprovided by Merkel, a family psychologist, has universal application when it comes to human relationships. This is a great read for anyone raising a family.
... Read more

Product Description
Fred Rogers opens the door for stepfamilies to safely talk about their good and sometimes not-so-good feelings by encouraging both parents and children to communicate. While he acknowledges that difficult situations will probably arise, he emphasizes that the joy of belonging is what all families are really about.

"In a simple, straightforward manner, Rogers describes the variety of feelings that children might have. . . and he offers ways of dealing with some of the difficulties that arise." (The Horn Book) ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (1)

Very good advice - wished I'd read the book sooner
The book was very informative - I could relate to all the problems that may arise when 2 families w/ adult children try to blend. I believe that everyone that is thinking about entering into a second marriage, especially later in life, should read this book and discuss the different problems that "may" come up.We think that just because we are happy and excited, both sets of our children will be also.Sometimes this happens BUT usually the children look at it different and this causes problems.If discussed prior to marriage things can be worked out - or not - but will save a lot of grief later on.

My only problem w/ this book is that "Step Wars: Overcoming the Perils and Making Peace in Adult Families" (hard cover) is the same as this one - just a different title.I purchased both
but still feel that I got my money's worth!! ... Read more

Product Description
A practical guide for meeting the challenges of stepfamily life.

More than one in five families with two parents is a stepfamily, and eight million children live in stepfamilies. The stepfamily is both a wonderful blessing and a challenge.

Drawing on their own experiences, and that of the stepfamilies with whom they have worked. Robert and Jeanette Lauer give realistic, helpful advice on how to deal with the major challenges in stepfamily life:Loss, adjustment, personal identity, family identity, loyalty conflicts, former spouses, resources, stepparenting, and marital intimacy. The authors encourage the formation of stepparent support groups, and an appendix includes activities and suggestions for small-group discussion. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Love this book!
Written from a Christian perspective, this book is extremely well organized and packed with concrete real-life guidance. The chapters stress the importance of seeing each family member's point of view and gives practical, easy-to-understand advice that focuses on strengthening the marriage and new family bonds. The book doesn't mask the challenges a stepfamily faces, but instead, tempers them with hope. You'll see how several stepfamilies used faith and Biblical teachings to carry on and succeed.

Taking the approach of the reader's stepfamily as "God's calling to a new life," the authors help the reader understand her identity and help it grow in light of new challenges and circumstances. The book also focuses on understanding "human limitations:" you can't please all of the people all of the time. Acknowledging that fact helps couples work through their problems with new insight.

The book offers good advice and guidance in helping all family members deal with loyalty conflicts and in managing limited resources. In "The Ex-Factor," you'll find tips on dealing with the challenges of a former spouse. The difficulties and experiences expressed by the stepparents ring true.

Finally, the book discusses the rewards of stepfamily life, giving us a few "happy ending" stories for inspiration. And you'll find suggestions for group discussions (divided by chapter), but the suggestions would also be valuable if used just within your family. I think you'll like this book.

A must for anyone in a stepfamily.
You will find yourself spoken to and about, throughout this book. Are you in denial? I didn't know I was until reading this book. It is truly difficult being in a stepfamily, but this book helps you to cope withissues you don't want to address. ... Read more

Product Description
Do the same implications of taboo exist when a stepfather has sexual relations with his stepdaughter that is present when a man sleeps with his biological daughter? "Ask Lot," one might say. Because there is no sharing of bloodlines, a stepdaughter can legally marry his stepdaughter - we need only look at Woody Allen to see this is true. And yet, the relationship has certain social stigma attached, along with issues of trust and cultural propriety. In this sociological study of human sexuality, Dr. Garth Mundinger-Klow, holding the Kinsey Chair at the Beverly Hills Institute of Sexual Health Research, interviews men who have had sex with their stepdaughters as well as women who had sex with their stepfathers, to determine what defining lines of taboo were crossed, and whether the sexuality had positive or negative side effects. You may be shocked at you read, and you may also be titillated and aroused! Dr. Mundinger-Klow once again reveals that we live in a strange and sex world! ... Read more

Product Description
Discusses problems children face when a parent remarries. ... Read more

Product Description
It has been estimated that fifteen million children in the United States live in stepfamilies.

This book, by a husband-and-wife team consisting of a psychiatrist and a psychologist, gives an overview of the stepfamily and explains the importance of the stepfamily and its differences from the nuclear family.

With the rising rate of divorce and remarriage, more and more adults and children are today living in stepfamilies and encountering the unique adjustment problems and stresses inherent in the stepfamily situation.

Drawing upon their personal and professional experience the Vishers have provided a thoughtful, compassionate guide that will be invaluable for anyone who works with stepfamilies... as well as for anyone who lives in a stepfamily.

The Vishers' interest in stepfamilies began in 1959, when they were married and both became stepparents. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Stepfamilies; Myth and Reality
I have been teaching and counseling stepfamilies for more than 20 years.This is a well-written book filled with information to help stepfamilies be successful.

Stepfamily Counseling
This book provides accurate and helpful insight to the stepfamily dynamic.I highly recommend it!! ... Read more

Product Description
Brave New Stepfamilies maps the changing landscape of American stepfamilies, taking readers on a tour through the diverse assortment of traditional and not-so-traditional stepfamily forms that have emerged in recent years. Author Susan D. Stewart presents the latest scholarly research on stepfamilies in an accessible way, weaving together predominant theoretical perspectives, findings from research and national surveys, and interviews with stepfamily members. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

It is an excellent book! I found the information informative. Seller was informative.
I found this book to be very informative. In citing this text for my research paper, I realized that most, if not all, of the material was research. Be very careful, if you intend to use this as a reference for a research paper. It is very inportant to follow the rules of the recommended format you are given for your research paper--whether it be MLA or APA. It takes a lot to digest some of this text, but overall it was well worth the purchase. ... Read more

Product Description
The author proceed to regard stepfamilies as different-not better or worse-than the nuclear family for successful therapy. While it is designed to be concise, the book offers a comprehensive look at this topic. The Vishers have crafted a text that will be equally useful to therapists working with stepfamilies, those unfamiliar with the field, and as a text for therapy training programs |o ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

compact, specific, useful - and misses key points
I have been a professional stepfamily researcher and therapist for 27 and 24 years, respectively. I'm currently an invited Board member of the DStepfamily Association oof America, and a contributing editor to "Your Stepfamily Online" e-magazine. I've lived in two stepfamilies, as a stepgran\dson, stepson, stepfather, and stepbrother.

This classic book is commendable for (a) indicating the scope of issues with typical stepfamily clients, (b) focusing on the differences between intact biofamilies and typical stepfamilies, (c) hilighting common major therapeutic iswues and suggesting useful interventions, (d) being upbeat and realistic in tone, and (e) providing a usable index.

I believe the Vishers omit several key issues: (1) the common stressor of co-parents being wounded from low-nurturance childhoods, and what to do about that; (2) the common stressors of values conflicts and (Karpmann) relationship triangles; (3) the concept of surface problems and underlying primary needs determining most behavior and surface "problems," and (4) the importance of having co-parents and relatives accept their stepfamily identity, and what it *means;* (tho they do focus on helping co-parents change myths into realistic expectations).

Overall, this is a fine book for students and experienced therapists who embrace the family systems paradigm. Learning the concepts and related interventions for the four points above will add to any clinician's effectiveness.

For more perspective, see these:

[...] ... Read more

Product Description
This longitudinal study examines family relationships and the adjustment of two adolescent siblings, varying in the degree of biological relatedness, in non-stepfamiles and in stabilized simple and complex stepfamilies. Family relationships and children's adjustment were assessed using interview and questionnaire measures obtained from mothers, fathers/stepfathers, and the two siblings and from observational measures of family interactions in the home. Family type and gender differences in marital relationships, parent-child relationships, and sibling relationships as well as adolescent adjustment were examined. The findings suggest that, even in long established stepfamilies, some differences in family relationships and in adolescent adjustments were found. Few differences, however, between non-stepfamilies and simple stepfamilies were found. ... Read more

Product Description
A million new stepfamilies form each year, and none of these blended families makes the adjustment unscathed. Most encounter many difficulties, from deep-seated emotional trauma to the minor skirmishes that every family faces every day. They'll find solid, tested advice here on how to overcome the problems and accentuate the rewards of their new relationships.Amazon.com Review
Ask a stepparent about the most difficult challenge ofstepfamily life, and you'll likely hear the answer,"Discipline!" Stepparents and remarried parents alike areoften baffled as to how to deal with the children in this newfamily. Who makes the parenting decisions? Who lays down the law? Whathappens when Mom's house has one set of rules and Dad's house hasanother?What do you do when parents have different ideas aboutdiscipline? In Positive Discipline for Blended Families, familycounselors Jane Nelsen and Cheryl Erwin join seminar leader H. StephenGlenn in tackling these and other sticky questions. The authorsprovide highly informative background information and time-tested,positive solutions in an easy-to-digest, helpful guide. Stepfamiliesneed a great deal of support, and this book offers no-nonsenseassistance. --Ericka Lutz ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Create a Thriving Environment for Children in Mixed Families
So many families today are "blended" with new marriages, children from previous marriages, and for the sake of the CHILDREN this book provides pivotal information to help parents and step-parents deal with the everyday problems that are most common and in need of resolution.
This book covers areas such as: "Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn" as opposed to just go on making more mistakes that can ultimately but unknowingly hurt the children. Open and healthy communication with the natural parent of the children; Taking children out of the middle; treating the other parent with respect; Avoiding alienation; "Don't be a Disneyland Parent;" Nonverbal communication; "If the adults are creating conflict - stop it!" "If the child is creating conflict - Understand it!"
Even if you learn just one thing that will make a positive difference in the psychological health and self-esteem of the children, or learn a new method of positive discipline that will help your child overcome a negative pattern, this book is worth buying.
This book is especially useful for families where there is a communication breakdown, either with the children, or either of the natural parents or step- parents. Highly Recommended!

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. author of Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE and If God Was Like Man
Editor, inspire! magazine

Can't recommend the book
THis is the first book I read on blended families and was very annoyed by the patronizing style of writing, the artificial dialogues used to illustrate a point and the concepts portrayed.

Better books are out there, check out Kevin Leman with his humorous approach and engaging examples.

Best regards
Michael and Kristin

"so true" situations
I picked this book off the library shelf to help me be a better stepmother.The more I read, the more it educated me on good and bad behavior between divorced parents and how they "mistreat" theirchilds relationship with the non-custodial parent(s).As is in myhusband's case.If you have an ex-spouse and children, this book speaksthe truth on how to act and not act. ... Read more

Product Description
More and more people over age sixty-five are remarrying each year, and few families are prepared for the avalanche of feelings that comes when adult children learn that a parent is getting remarried. Psychiatrist Grace Gabe and award winning author Jean Lipman-Bluman provide a practical guide with advice and understanding for every family facing this increasingly common, complex situation. Using case studies from a variety of perspectives, chapters address concerns frequently faced, including:

* Who Should Inherit My Property? Managing Financial Conflict Between the Generations
* Health and Illness: Thank Heaven the Caretaker Is On Duty
*The Grandchildren: Innocent Pawns (or Occasional Bridges) in Stepfamily Conflicts

Written for both the couple getting married as well as their adult children, Step Wars is the only book in the market that focuses on the blending of adult families.
... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

Step Wars
When I opened the book and started to read, Step Wars, I could not put it down.It is sobering, and answers many questions and concerns that we, as older adults (60 plus), need to address.I am very thankful that the authors had the courage to explore the subject and express the heart-felt situations that arise in a relationship, with answers that affect, not only the seniors that have found love, but how that love affects the entire family.
I am truly humbled!Thank You!

Useful book if you are a step mother of older children
I am 49 and my step children are 21, 24, and 25.I have found the book to be very useful as well as helpful in aiding me in becoming a better step mother.

Good book
This book is very helpful in understanding the different feelings that step families go thru when a couple marry. It has helped me understand not only some of the feelings that I was having but also to see what my children & step children may be feeling as well.

Wish I had read it years ago
This book should be read by everyone in a step family.It is one of the most helpful books I have ever read.

Excellent resource for any adult step family member
Very important reading for those considering a new marriage where adult step-children will be involved.Or if you are struggling with the reaction of adult step-children to a marriage you are already in.

Not quite a reference book.You need to read it through, perhaps skipping a chapter or 2 that really doesn't apply to your situation.IE there are chapters specific to one or both partners being widowed that may not help you.I found the suggestions for ALL members of the family to deal with their emotions and the behaviors of others to be very helpful.This is not just information about what is happening but what to do to improve the situation.

I found it helpful to use the author's classifications for my and my new spouses adult children.It was good to understand their reactions were well within what is normal and that there were ways to deal with their disappointment, anger, and misconceptions.

This book seems to stand alone in the field as a tutorial for the entire adult step family.I constantly recommend it to people I see in a similar situation.I even bought copies for my children who were struggling with my new marriage. ... Read more

Product Description
A sturdy hard covered book containing a beautifully illustrated story, activities, maps, stickers, and a photo album section. The book has a multicolored handle for ease of carrying. Geared to stepchildren and children of blended families. Age appropriate 3 - 7 Endorsed by health care professionals. Chelsea's Tree is a charming, original way to help a child make sense of his or her world. Judith L. Hunt., Licensed Mental Health Counselor ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

A SENSE OF BELONGING
I think this book and its carry around covermight be just the thing under some child' Christmas tree.
We all need a sense of belonging... and for the step child or a childtorn in todays modern life styles this book is an answer.
I speak from the back ground of Elementary School teacher, mother and grandmother..Life happens
and an innocent child may have no way of "belonging"
This book allows the child and other members of the combined families to come together as one ..a family a heritage and love,
thank you Marcy McCann

Elegant, charming book that opens a door
What a delightful way to present the concept of a blended family.Each page led to a point from which a loving conversation could take place.I remember my own confusion about what made someone a cousin or an uncle or aunt.This book helps solve the mystery.

The book is beaufiully packaged which gives it great value as a gift.It has inserts where the child reader's actual family tree can be posted, explained and expanded.The book is a celebration of families with lots of familiy tree limbs.

What a delightful and unique offering that can lead to understanding and the opening of a door sometimes difficult to access.

You only meet the mother and her family, Daddy is conspicuously absent
Is it too much to ask that books for kids about divorce present a decent view of BOTH parents, or, at the least, do not malign or ignore that father? In this book, the girl is at her mom's house, meets with her mom's mother (her grandmother) and we NEVER meet her father or his family. It would have been so easy to do half the tree with one family and then take the book to the other house and finish it there. What's so wrong with portraying dad in the book? I am returning this.

Chelsea's Tree is a treasure!
Chelsea's Tree is a very unique idea to teach children all about families and what makes up a family, with families being blended and extended now days, it helps everyone keep track of who's who. It's a fun and great idea where the parents can sit down with their children to pass along their own family tree. In the back of the book, there is a place where the reader can add family photos to start a record of the relatives in their own family. Chelsea's Tree a treasure and a keepsake that every family should have.

Chelsea's Tree
I am so thrilled to recommend a most heart warming and timely book called Chelsea's Tree by Marcy McCann.This is a delightful book that I really appreciate and can't wait to share with all my "collected" grandchildren.When my husband and I married, we blended adult children and their children of various relationships and marriages.This powerful way of explaining the various pieces of the family puzzle is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!Kudos to Marcy McCann for being so creative!! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

So happy to read a book that gets it right!
I have read so many books on step-families being a step-mom myself and this is the first one to hit a home run!!!

To the point
This was a very good book.I read parts of it with my stepchildren and they seemed to respond very well.It was to the point and did not skirt any issues.I would recommend this book to all stepfamilies, however, Iwould suggest that for younger children, an adult read with them or beavailable for discussion after the child reads.Very, very open andhonest. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

this book is depressing and horrible
written like as if Nurse Ratchet herself was the author . . . depressing and does not offer supportive suggestions ... Read more

Product Description
Advice for children of divorced or remarried parents on adjusting to life with a stepfamily. ... Read more