Product Description
Red-carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar Joan Rivers is uniquely qualified to talk about plastic surgery -- because she's one of the few celebrities unafraid to admit to the world what she's "had done" to keep looking so great. Now, in this no-holds-barred book, she gives women straight-talking advice on better living through looking better.

Joan Rivers' abiding life philosophy is simple: in the appearance-centric society of the twenty-first century, beauty is key -- especially where men are concerned. Men like pretty women. And so, getting something lifted, tightened, adjusted, or removed is as fundamental as wearing makeup or using hair conditioner; it's become something we do to make ourselves look better. Now, for any woman considering her options, Joan Rivers takes the mystery out of cosmetic surgery with a practical overview, aided and informed by the country's top plastic surgeons, of almost every single cosmetic procedure legally performed in America today. She takes readers step-by-step through these entire processes, from fi nding the right doctor to the bruising truth about recovery and the facts about cosmetic surgery's very real risks.

But don't worry -- there's dish, too. Filled with Rivers' personal anecdotes about life under the knife, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs is also rife with Hollywood gossip about who's done what and how often. Part comic musing, part bitch-fest, and part hands-on advice, this is a bracingly funny, wildly frank, and genuinely passionate argument for a woman's right to do whatever it takes to be beautiful, to feel better about herself, and most of all to be happy -- not only with who she is, but who she wants to be. Throughout the book, Joan Rivers is right there, guiding and encouraging with no apologies, no excuses, and absolutely no shame. Take it from the woman who enjoys having it all -- done.Amazon.com Review

A Q&A with Joan Rivers

Q: What kinds of books do you enjoy?

A: At my age, anything in large print.

Q: Who inspired you to become a writer?

A: An agent who told me I was too ugly to be in front of the camera.

Q: Is it true when they say that you should “write what you know”?

A: Absolutely, which is why my next book is about having thighs that are visible from outer space.

Q: Writing is a tough profession.Do you remember the first time you were rejected?

A: My wedding night.

Q: What is it like having a novel? published at the age of 75?

A: I am so old, even the spine of my book has osteoporosis.

Q: Computer, typewriter or pen and paper.What tools did you use to write your first book?

A: Chisel and stone.

Q: Are you one of those writers who work at home in a dirty old bathrobe without showering for days?

A: Yes, except for the part about working at home.

Q: What’s the first step in getting a publisher interested in your book?

A: A check for fifty grand made out to “cash”.

Q: Is it true that the murder mystery was heavily influenced by fashions seen on the red carpet?

A: Absolutely.Even the dust jacket was made by Chanel.

Q: What was the most important thing that you learned while writing a book about plastic surgery?

A: Always use the spell-check when you’re still under anesthesia.

Customer Reviews (18)

Everything you want to know about plastic surgery...
Joan River's book is everything you want to know about almost every kind of plastic surgery/non surgical procedure, from how to choose a good doctor to what each procedure is called, what it's supposed to improve, and what the risks can be.She delivers all the information with her usual sense of humor.

You will like this book if you:Enjoy Joan River's comedic style; are wanting a starting place for finding out about the many beauty/anti-aging procedures out there; you like reading about the work (good and bad) thatseveral celebrities have had.

Men really are stupid
I thought this book was great because it answered so many of my questions. Joan tells you everything from how the procedures are done, to all the different types, the pros and cons and how much they should cost, all in terms that anyone could understand. She also cracks lots of jokes to keep it from getting boring. Another great thing about the book is you can jump around to whichever procedure you want to know about. The only thing is I think there was a couple things she didn't mention and I still had some questions after reading. But everyone will probably still have their own questions and those are things you can just ask your doctor. I deffinatly recommend this book for anyone that is thinking about getting something done and doesn't know much about it or who to talk to and how to safely choose a doctor!

funny but informative
I'm not too far into the book, but it's typical joan rivers. She openly discusses her plastic surgery and the reasons behind it, with no reservations.It's very much like her monologues, and easy to read.

Boring
This is not my cup of tea.Joan really tells you about plastic surgery.
I don't choose to do that and I shouldn't have bought this book.

Funny Read, but great information to have
This book is not just for plastic surgery candidates.Not only is it very informative (come on, we all want to know how it is done) but it is very funny to read. Joan's candid and honest accounts are very heart warming.I bought the book because I wanted to know more about plastic surgery for when it is my time and to understand where Jocelyn Wildenstein took the wrong turn. It is really entertaining and informative whether or not you are going to have plastic surgery.By the way,I am a man and I bought her book, now how stupid is that? ... Read more

Product Description
"There are many self-help books by Ph.D's, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but on gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune."
From Bouncing Back

Survival stratagems from Joan Rivers

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you strongerAnd always remember: Surviving is the best revengeLook at Alexander Graham Bell, who did 22,000 experiments before he hit on the telephone.Just a few more and he would have had call waitingWhenever I hit bottom, the only thing I think of was set down by Jerome Kern: Pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.Dr. Kevorkian will get no call from me, unless I think he'd look good in a brooch.

A fiercely honest and moving story of how Joan Rivers, one of comedy's greatest stars, survived the worst that life could throw at her, how she hit bottom and then made it back to the top. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (15)

This book is a real keeper
I purchased this book when I was going through some really rough personal times and it was really so very helpful.I have always loved Joan, but this book was a great tool in pulling myself up when I didn't think I could.Thanks Joan - you are a real life-saver!!

Sad Funny True
I read the book and I laughed, I cried, I fell in love with Joan.

Bouncing Back helped me cope after seeing my Daddy die.
The audio book version of "Bouncing Back" is WONDERFUL!It's read by Joan Rivers herself, the way she intended for it to be read :-) Her moving message of survival comes through loud & clear & of course FUNNY!What a lady!What a TALENT!THANK YOU Ms. Rivers for being so forthcoming with us.Your story is truly INSPIRATIONAL!

Very uplifting
Joan has some helpful advice on how to overcome obstacles in life.While she is not a psychologist, she has been through many painful things in her life and has always "bounced back."

Pitiful
Joan Rivers presents herself as the most put upon victim in the world, the ultimate survivor. Heartrending.I'm sure that the AIDS victims, the cancer patients, the Christopher Reeves of this world, will join me in sympathizing with this martyr. ... Read more

Product Description

As the Queen of the Red Carpet, Joan Rivers has been eyewitness to Hollywood's most heinous crimes (okay, so they're fashionrelated). And in this über-stylish mystery, she enlists her no-holdsbarred, slightly blonder literary counterpart, Maxine Taylor, to solve a crime of a different sort. When a gorgeous young actress dies on the Red Carpet, some in Tinseltown call it bad publicity. Max calls it murder.

The Academy Awards®. It's Hollywood's biggest night, and there's no star better equipped than the tart-tongued Max Taylor to hold court on the glamorous Red Carpet. Sharing the dish with her daughter, Drew, the calls-it-as-she-sees-it entertainer has parlayed this star-studded annual gig into television's most-watched pre-show event. And tonight, Max has landed a real coup -- an exclusive interview with Halsey Hamilton, a fabulous, young, paparazzi-trailed Oscar nominee. But not even Max, who's seen her share of celebrity train wrecks, is prepared for an incoherent Halsey, straight out of rehab, to stumble up to the mic, slur a few cryptic words, and drop dead at the hem of Max's stunning Michael Kors gown.

To Hollywood, the starlet's demise was tragic but inevitable. To Max, it looks more like a perfectly calculated crime. After all, she alone heard Halsey's final whisper -- a clue that leads Max to the pricey rehab clinic Wonders. With a weakness for nothing more disturbing than artificial sweeteners, Max nonetheless goes undercover and embarks on a twelve-step investigation into murder. Once inside the luxury clinic, Max's list of suspicious players expands faster than the Jolie-Pitt family: Burke Norris, a professional cad and Drew's ex-fiancé; Halsey's father, who is still making money off his dead daughter's fame; Halsey's jealous younger sister; and Rojo Bernstein, a tattooed karate hipster who knew the troubled fallen star much better than anyone suspected.

Now it's left to Max to unravel the sordid motives and find Halsey's killer while upstaging an over-the-top Hollywood memorial service and funeral where the ill-fated actress was buried in, of all things, a tacky designer knockoff! And you thought the Oscars were all swag bags and Jimmy Choos? Hah! Honey, it's murder.In Murder at the Academy Awards®, Joan Rivers delivers a very smart, bracingly funny, and pitch-perfect reflection of a Hollywood only she would dare to reveal -- all seen through the eyes of an indomitable, high-end amateur sleuth who isn't asking "Who are you wearing?" but rather "Whodunit?"Amazon.com Review

A Q&A with Joan Rivers

Q: What kinds of books do you enjoy?

A: At my age, anything in large print.

Q: Who inspired you to become a writer?

A: An agent who told me I was too ugly to be in front of the camera.

Q: Is it true when they say that you should “write what you know”?

A: Absolutely, which is why my next book is about having thighs that are visible from outer space.

Q: Writing is a tough profession.Do you remember the first time you were rejected?

A: My wedding night.

Q: What is it like having a novel published at the age of 75?

A: I am so old, even the spine of my book has osteoporosis.

Q: Computer, typewriter or pen and paper.What tools did you use to write your first book?

A: Chisel and stone.

Q: Are you one of those writers who work at home in a dirty old bathrobe without showering for days?

A: Yes, except for the part about working at home.

Q: What’s the first step in getting a publisher interested in your book?

A: A check for fifty grand made out to “cash”.

Q: Is it true that the murder mystery was heavily influenced by fashions seen on the red carpet?

A: Absolutely.Even the dust jacket was made by Chanel.

Q: What was the most important thing that you learned while writing a book about plastic surgery?

A: Always use the spell-check when you’re still under anesthesia.

Customer Reviews (26)

Murder Must Glamorize
Jerrilyn Farmer and Joan Rivers have conspired to deliver a smashing mystery set under the lights on the biggest night Hollywood has to offer. Imagine the temerity (or as Joan would say, the chutzpah) of a killer who would dispatch a victim in the middle of the most watched pre-show of them all, the Oscar night teaser where all the stars strut their stuff, not to mention their facelifts, borrowed jewels and designer duds. What fun to read a mystery with all your favorite celebs. You never know who Max Taylor and her daughter, Drew, will interview next or which designer they'll be wearing! This dynamic fictional duo takes us 'backstage' in movie town and lets us in on the drama that never stops, from the Ritzy rehab retreats to the swag lounge, and from fabled 'do lunch' hangouts to the most exclusive after-parties (Don't even think about crashing, Honey.). And not even Spielberg could come up with the glitterati-studded funeral send-off this book delivers. It's all here, the biting Rivers humor on a collision course with the greatest of material, the fickle, ambitious, loony, calculating, deluded, chemically-enhanced, fame-hungry denizens of Tinseltown. Plot twists, a career roller coaster ride, mother-daughter 'issues' and a little dog too. A fun read! Can't wait for the next in the series.

Enjoyable
I'm a big fan of Jerrilyn Farmer's books, so I was glad to read this collaboration with Joan Rivers.

While I loved Max/Joan and her entire entourage (especially Killer), I absolutely couldn't stand Drew/Melissa, who was nothing but a whiny, spoiled brat. I'd love to see the series continue without her, but I know the chances of that are slim to none!

I'll definitely read the next one...and hope there's a lot less Drew.

Fun . . . with a Joan Rivers spin!!
If you enjoy mysteries, this will be a light pleasure for you. The background of Hollywood and the Red Carpet, with Joan Rivers "insider" view is fun and interesting. This is not the best mystery ever BUT it is one that offers information that is not available to all of us, and a bit of the sarcasm that Joan Rivers does so well.

Just Fabulous, Darling!
I have to say that I've loved Joan Rivers for my entire life, practically.That being said, I thought this was a fun read and a fun quasi-insider's view into the world of celebrities and their, shall we say, problems and excentricities.I never would have guessed the ending as there were absolutely no clues to it that I noticed.Consequently, it is actually what I'd call a real mystery.Some people may say it is "fluffy", but the celebrity backdrop made it all the more fun and better to read for fans like me.I can't wait for the next in the series.

Murder at the Academy Awards
Joan Rivers and Jerrilyn Farmer have written a humorous murder mystery based on the experiences of Rivers and her daughter on the Red Carpet of Hollywood premieres. "Murder at the Academy Awards" begins with a young actress dying on the red carpet at Max Taylor's feet after Max finished interviewing stars attending the awards. While this is certainly an escapist novel, I did not find it has funny as I thought Rivers could be. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Whiny
I love Joan Rivers but the beginning of this book seemed to be a lot of whining about her parents.I was turned off by it and didn't read any further.Don Rickles book is far more interesting and entertaining.

Very enjoyable memoir of Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers autobiography is an entertaining read.I have not finished the book yet (have about less than 100 pages to go), but wanted to urge customers to buy this book.Her life story from Joan Molinsky, to stage name Pepper January (in Boston, when emceeing a strip show), and to her present name Joan Rivers (Rivers was borrowed from an agent she went to see), is a heart-wrenching life story.Moments in the book when her parents tried to discourage her from a stage and comedy career, I felt deeply with the author.But Joan Rivers kept on going.What a woman!!Oh well - I am going to stop writing this review, so I can pick up the book and finish it!!
Thank you Joan Rivers.

Extremely honest
Joan Rivers did a fabulous job with this. She was extremely honest in her descriptions with show business and describes the "business" of it so openly. Her vulnerability and strength are intertwined so vividly.She is funny,honest,intelligent,good-hearted and insecure as most, but brave enough to admit it. I would highly recommend the audiotape and book as well. It is a great tool for anyone dealing with the emotional aspects of show business rejections. Joan Rivers proves that not only has she been a survivor thru tremendous hardships,but that she is indeed a fragile,yet strong human being. The audio makes for great listening for days stuck in traffic jams.

Joan Rivers-What a book!
Joan Rivers book-"Enter talking" was a really good book and introduced em to details about her life as a child and her personally.. It felt like i was sitting there-listening to Joan talk/. I think this is areally good book andi thinkmany people would enjoy it. ... Read more

Product Description
The well-known comedienne and talk-show host opens up about her life, describing her rise to the top, her marriage, the birth of her daughter, the politics of the entertainment industry, and her husband's suicide. Reprint. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

A GREAT READ!!!
This is a easy book to read. Ms. River tells it like she lives it with NO punches.

"Joan Rivers: When The Laughter Stopped"
"Still Talking" is Joan River's follow up to her successful autobiography "Enter Talking". This book starts when Joan decides to leave NBC"s "The Tonight Show" in 1986. She found out that she was never included on a list of potential comedians who would someday replace Johnny Carson, although she had been Johnny's only premanent guest host for years. Once the fledging FOX network offered Joan her own late-night talk show opposite Carson's, Joan jumped at the chance. In "Still Talking" Joan painstakingly discusses how Johnny Carson hung up on her when she tried to explain her reason for going to Fox, how Carson never forgave her, her husband Edgar's suicide after FOX cancelled Joan's show, her battles with her daughter Melissa in dealing with Edgar's death, Joan's low point in her life when the only job she could get was as a square on "Hollywood Squares", and her eventual rise again as the host of her own TV syndicated talk show that garnered her an Emmy. "Still Talking" is one person's courageous battle with life's obstacles and overcoming terrible circumstances. This book goes from the laughter of one of the greatest comedians ever to her personal struggles showing us all that she is a human being with frailties and problems. More than anything, though, Joan Rivers is a survivor, and through it all it is that laughter that has helped her overcome the hardships that have plagued her. "Still Talking" was turned into a NBC TV movie-of-the-week starring Joan and Melissa playing themselves that was extremely successful.

An impressive and educational book
When I opened this book two days ago, I did not expect what I found.This is an impressive and engaging memoir about Joan Rivers' life and career.It centers around her husband's (Edgar Rosenberg) suicide and how that experience shattered her and her daughter.The book is essential reading for those whose lives have been impacted by a loved one's suicide.Rivers spares no punches in describing what lead up to, and the aftermath, of her husband's death.

What could easily have been a heavy and morbid subject instead was handled gracefully, with candor and honesty. I think that the reviewers who concentrated on Rivers' comedy style instead of the overall subject matter really missed the point on this one.

Intriguing 'second act' autobiography with the comedienne at full steam...
Picking up right where her previous book "Enter Talking" left off, pioneering female comic Joan Rivers is matched up with producer Edgar Rosenberg via her "Tonight Show" connections, and soon found herself married. The book not only examines the show-biz ramifications of this loving marriage/business partnership in the entertainment world, it also shows how two 'outcasts' (by Joan's definition) came to cling to one another--and blame eachother when plans and dreams fell through. Some of the minute details (such as how many times Rivers guested on Johnny Carson's show) are sketchy, but Rivers' anger over being wronged so many times by people she trusted is instantly identifable. It's also a show-biz tome of wonderful gossipy bits: Tony Bennett constantly turning up late for a Vegas gig; Shirley MacLaine throwing her weight around (well, she is a Taurus!); Elvis Costello nodding off on camera; Cher being a good pal, always there when needed. Often, Rivers drops name for no other purpose than to fill certain gaps (she keeps mentioning Bill Cosby, Ann-Margret and Woody Allen without explaining these relationships to us--were they personal, friendly, or professional only?). The book's prologue and middle section details Edgar's suicide and Rivers' numbing heartache, yet Joan is careful not to overload her prose with repetitious grief--she's remarkably poised with her pen, sharp and brittle but also a woman in need. In fact, she's far more womanly and human here than her stand-up act ever let on, and many of her stories (triumphs and tragedies) are gripping, emotional, moving, bitterly funny and vividly told. B+

Nothing Meaner than a Comic
Did we read the same book? After seeing other reviewers' comments, I feel like the kid pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. Joan Rivers' autobiography is indeed frank and full of anecdotes. but it's not all that funny. Or perceptive. Or well written. It does reveal a horribly flawed, angry, self-absorbed, insecure and ungenerous woman whose sense of pity covers only herself -- not the husband she drove to suicide, the daughter she's driven to botox addiction, or the stars she abused for very human flaws (Liz Taylor overweight looks better than plastic Joan any day).

After turning the last page of this furious and nasty tome, I threw it away because I knew I'd never want to travel through memory lane again with this person. In tone, it reminds me of the mean-spirited "You'll Never Eat Lunch in this Town Again" diatribe. Yuck! I'm not saying an autobiography should be all sweetness and light with no honesty. But there are better books out there that won't make you feel like Lysoling your brain afterward. See "Hollywood Animal" for one. ... Read more

Product Description
All of Joan Rivers' love and knowledge of jewelry is reflected in the pieces she designs for her own collection, hundreds of which are reproduced here in specially commissioned full-color photos. She also takes readers behind the scenes to show how fine costume jewelry is crafted, from initial sketches to finished product. Full-color illustrations. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Gem of a book!
If you're an avid jewelry maker or collector, you will adore Jewelry by Joan Rivers. The history and photographs make it an absolute must for your collection. I've admired Joan Rivers' jewelry for years, but only recently discovered this wonderful book. Guaranteed that you will spend hours reading and admiring every page over and over again. It's given me an even greater admiration for the author and her amazing career.

This book is PERFECTION!!

surprise!
Oh ya, like why would i need a book on jewelery? Then someone mentioned how detailed it was with background and all sorts of wonderful pictures, so i had to check it out.What a delight!Have long been a fan of watching Ms Joan when she comes to the shopping channel, watching her teach us how to dress with style, just by jazzing up boring basic classic outfits with fab jewelery.I was delightfully surprised in the book to find that a lot of her 'updated' modern versions of the real thing were so much better and prettier.I haven't had this much fun dressing up since i was a kid, and this book has inspired me ~it's like a primer regarding introducing jewelery into your wardrobe as a means of looking fabulous darling!

Informative text, dazzling photographs
"Jewelry by Joan Rivers" features photography by Gordon Munro and Elizabeth Watt.The book is a celebration of jewelry from the perspective of comedian and television personality Joan Rivers.The main sections of the book are as follows: a lengthy introduction; a series of entries on great jewelry designers (Tiffany and Co., Faberge, Cartier, etc.); a chapter with advice on integrating jewelry into one's overall fashion sense; a large section on Joan Rivers' own costume jewelry line, the Classics Collection; and a chapter describing how jewelry is made.Also included are shopping tips, a bibliography and index.

The book combines an interesting text with a wealth of clear, full-color photos that are sparkling with detail.Rivers enlivens the text with enjoyable personal anecdotes.The section on jewelry and fashion includes shots of Joan modeling different clothes-and-jewelry combos, and has an empowering message that encourages readers to create their own style without being stifled by someone else's rules.

There are some wonderful photos of and stories about some of the fine jewelry pieces in Joan's own collection; one of the most dazzling pieces is a necklace, once owned by Queen Marie of Romania, that contains many colorful eggs and charms. The section about how jewelry is made shows, in text and photos, the process from rough design sketch all the way to finished product.It's absolutely fascinating.

The book's largest section is devoted to photos and descriptive text about Joan's own costume jewelry line.The Classics Collection pieces profiled include necklaces, earrings, bracelets, brooches, etc.It's a rich and colorful variety of pieces.Many motifs and elements appear, and there are synthetic/faux gems of many different shapes, sizes, and colors.Some pieces are whimsical, some bold and dramatic.If you love photos of jewelry, you'll be in heaven.

I've read many different photo books on both fine and costume jewelry, and this book really stands out in terms of beauty and educational value.And Joan River' passion for jewelry really animates the book overall.

Joan Rivers Jewelry fans will love this book! :)
Joan's book has lots of beautiful photos of her classics collection jewelry from the first 5 years.Her book explains how she got started with QVC & why she decided to create the jewelry, how the jewelry is made, where she got her inspiration for her classics collection jewelry, personal stories & information about her favorite jewelry designers & stores. It's a fun book that is a very easy read with lots of beautiful photos. If you collect Joan's jewelry like I do you'll love seeing all the different pieces of jewelry she did in the early years.It's great to see jewelry pieces I have & other items from that year's collection. This book was well worth the price! ... Read more

Product Description
I've had my face revised from time to time. In fact, Darwin would be happy to know that my face is in a constant state of evolution.

Leave it to the inimitable Joan Rivers to tell the whole truth about how women feel when it comes to getting older. But while you can't stop time, you don't have to speed it up or let it determine the way you look and feel. Now, in this funny, charming, and practical new book, she shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at anyand everyage.

Filled with the latest information on anti-aging breakthroughs as well as entertaining personal anecdotes and stories told with Joan Rivers's incomparable verve and wit, Don't Count the Candles...offers down-to-earth, sensible advice on wardrobe, makeup, fitness, diet, surgery, sex (well, did you think she wouldn't? Grow up!), lifestyle, relationships, and everything in between that every woman old enough to remember the Beatles needs. In her own personable style, Joan Rivers offers a unique, enlightening, and ultimately uplifting take on every aspect of staying young:

IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five.

They say that when you get older, your sex life diminishes. That would mean I'd owe.

At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short.

Eat all you want, just don't swallow it.

A roll in the hay keeps the doctor awayunless he happens to be in the hay with you.

Getting older doesn't have to mean the end; these days there's no such thing as over the hill, because the hill has been movedwhether you're hitting your forties, or well into your fifties, or sixty and beyond. "The stock of where you are chronologically, to realize all the baggage that comes with agingand then not to accept it. Yes, refuse to pay the COD. I believe infighting aging all the way, but fighting it constructively and with intelligence. Doing what we can do to look the best that we can look. Being the best we can possibly be."

As she so vividly emphasizes, it's all about attitude. Life is a gift, and what's the alternative? Take it from Joan Riversthe fight against time has only just begun. You've got a lot of living left to do! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Great Advice
Joan Rivers has her fans.And she has her detractors as well.Yet not even her detractors can deny that she is an honest, gutsy lady who doesn't miss a trick, who took every lemon that life tossed at her and squeezed it until it became a delicious lemonade.

As with her earlier books, DON'T COUNT THE CANDLES is written in her typical breezy style, with plenty of laughs thrown in for no extra charge.That's what this book is, too: a charge.Rare will be the reader who fails to be both enlightened and refreshed by Joan's entertaining outlook on life.For her fans, this one's a must.

lot of good ideas here...and funny, too
enjoyed reading this book. felt like joan rivers was talking directly to me. my only regret: wish there had been moreexamples for guys. (it is written, it seems, mostly for women--though it is applicable to eithersex.)

Can we talk?Joan's latest book is fabulous in every way!
Reading "Don't Count the Candles. . ." is like having Joan Rivers talking directly to the reader--as an old (but fighting it every step of the way) friend. Her honest, shoot from the hip (liposuctioned, ofcourse) game plan and advice is well-written and is done so with Joan'stypical humor and wit.I'm buying a copy for all my friends and even myex-mother-in-law!Go Joan! Keep up the great fight!

Not near as good as "Bouncing Back"
Joan makes many of the same points she did in her last book, "Bouncing Back", but this one is not nearly as well done.In "Bouncing Back", Joan urged her readers to keep an optimisticattitude when disaster strikes.For instance, she said that it's okay fora woman to "wear a red dress to her husband's funeral as a sign oflove".I could not agree more with that sentiment because grief is ahighly personal process.What helps one person get thru a crisis may hurtanother.

The book does make lots of valid points, such as the put-down ofretirement communities. (How I wish my Dad had read this before he retired- he left the police force in 1993 because he was stressed - or so hethought.His health and life in general have declined since then.)

Unfortunately, Joan seems to have changed her mind to a certain extentin this book.Instead of advising older women to live life on their ownterms, as she did with grieving people in Bouncing Back, she tells themthat they can't wear a lot of styles of clothing any longer, because attheir age, it will make them look silly.I say the hell with thatattitude, an older person is entitled to be silly if he or she wants to. (BTW, I'll be 40 in Sept. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm not goingto give up things that I like either just because I've reached a certainage.)

A disappointment.Nothing much new in this book.
I really wanted to like this book but I found it to be uninspiring.I like Joan Rivers but feel this was just a book to write about what most older people already know such as 'older women shouldn't wear shortskirts', etc. and her put down of retirement communities was inappropriate. There's more fun going on in some of those 'young retiree' communitiesthan you could imagine! ... Read more

Product Description
Joan Didion's electrifying first novel begins with a murder on the bank of the Sacramento River--a murder that is at once an act of vengeance and a blind attempt to shore up a disintegrating marriage. Out of that act, Didion constructs a tragic and beautifully nuanced work of fiction. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

As Good a First Novel as FirstNovels Get
This first novel by one of modern America's prose-writing treasures is set in a part of California no one associates with the Golden State: the Sacramento Delta. The emotional and physical geography of the book blend seamlessly. Didion has since critiqued this book herself, in her much later prose reflection on California, "Where I Was From."She's a bit hard on her former self. This is a lucid, hard etched short novel on the same general theme as Tolstoi's "Anna Karenina":that is, how a uniquely unhappy family got that way. Didion is of an old California family. She takes no false pride in that, here or elsewhere. There is not a useless or spongy sentence in the whole book. Writers will be reminded of what they're supposed to be doing when they pick up a pen.

Where she was from
There's a wealth of evidence in Run River (Didion's first book, published in 1963) that the world was to get one of its great writers, but it gets lost a bit in the story.Using a sort of end-of-the-golden era view of Sacramento land booms as its backdrop, it follows Lily and Everett, holdouts of the wealthy Knight and McClellan pioneer families that struck it rich in Northern California, an era described by Didion as "the cutting clean which was to have redeemed them all."Didion's sense of location and the specifics of the era is remarkable, so it takes little effort to be interested in the events, but set up as it is a framed story revolving around a murder, 20 years of backstory, and then the conclusion of the murder, she seems far too willing to make Run River an act of condemnation.I picked up Run River as a fervent reader of Didion's astonishing nonfiction works, and felt a little dismayed at first at my willingness to avoid reading the book.It's a feeling that goes away - the middle section of the book is filled with flawed, impish characters rendered in empathetic specifics, and is full of the humanely observed understatments that make Didion's best work so accessible (I am convinced no writer can devastate more with a seemingly average sentence - perfectly interrupted, of course).Still, returning to the murder at the end of the book, my reluctance returned, and I realized Didion's failure is to make the book a declaration of decay, to turn her events "tragic" (or, really, the stuff of nighttime soaps) in an attempt to critique the California pioneer identity.All this winds up doing is rendering the fates of her characters not all that important.Still, the book should be read for that glimmering center of the book, a time when its characters flaws are rendered rich with empathy - its chapters detailing Martha, Everett's sister, as she (miserably) attempts to conquer heartbreak with pioneering audacity shows Didion's characters as fascinating idealists, endearing in their quixotic fucntionlessness.

Like A Meandering River
This first fiction story by Didion surely catches her at the beginning of her career as a fiction writer.Copyrighted 1961, it is her first fiction novel.The Didion reader will recognize it as an early work.It is meandering, difficult to follow and in fact, in some points, downright boring.

However, the seeds of a brilliant writer and observer of human behavior still shine through.The book is about human interactions, set in early California between about 1920 and 1959, the story traces a family and their quest for land ownership in the young State of California.

Her concentration is on the manner in which love is expressed in the family.She concentrates on the strengths of the loves and on the incredible weaknesses.Her depiction of a family in emotional shambles is clear.Her elucidation of a family in every type of crisis except financial, is stark. And her characterization of the intense philandering of both the men and the women in the family is revealing and unexpected to some extent; yet fully expected in another.

The book is recommended to Didion readers and is of interest in seeing how her style was refined and honed as she went on in her writing career.

A Californian Elegy
This novel is early Didion, wonderfully lyrical and dark, passionate without sentimentality, and beyond conclusions.It is homage to James Jones, to William Faulkner, perhaps a little to John Steinbeck, but mostlyto a California now almost vanished.That California is mostly thesettlers' California, but it is also a California felt and knownaboriginally.She writes, as always, poignantly about things dying away:but the heirs live on and the Californian sun and hills, rivers and floods,carry on- the part of eternity we can know a little of.I liked this bookvery much, but the reader should be warned it is not a light read and notwritten as completely in Joan Didion's famously sharp style as her laterworks.

Early Efforts an Excuse?
As a longtime Didion fan I was mildly disappointed with this text.It's cumbersome, swishy, and sloppy.It hints at phrases, and the sort of language she eventually uses later in her writing, but this early novel isexactly that...early.It shows promise, and is not entirely without wit,but it's weak and cumbersome plot, it's overwrought prose, and it'sharlequin voice were a disappointment given her profound later works. ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (4)

The city and the river
If you come to Chicago any time from May to November, I will advise you, nay, order you, to take the Chicago Architecture Foundation's Architecture River Cruise. I can't think of a better way to see some of Chicago's most magnificent buildings, and also to learn and understand the importance of the river to Chicago's history and growth.It's the best damn tour there is.

One of the reasons it's so good is the docents.The CAF training is incredibly deep, and these people know whereof they speak (even if I don't always agree with them - we're not all fans of Helmut Jahn!). Joan V. Lindsay went through that docent training and acted as a guide on river tours, so it's not to be wondered that she has penned a lovely paean to the river and to Chicago architecture.It's a slim volume, but filled with beautiful photographs and plenty of information about the buildings.The captions don't simply give the name of the architect and date of the building, but describe the style and place the building in the context of Chicago's architectural history.She's also thrown in a couple of old photographs of the city so we can see how it's changed.What's a bascule bridge?Why does the River run backwards?Lindsay knows, and tells.

DID NOT RECEIVE
I waited over a month and never received it - so I cancelled it and bought it from the author who happenes to live in my home town.I e-mailed her and asked if she had any to sell and she happened to have one.Why does amazon advertise products that are out of stock?I paid more for the book, but it was worth it as she personally autographed it.

A Tour Unlike Any Other
I just came back from my second trip to Chicago, and a friend dragged me and four others to this so-called "architectural tour on the river", and I thought, oh, great, another organized tour.I have a natural aversion to organized tours, but how wrong I was for my prejudgment!

Words can hardly describe what an amazing docent that Ms. Joan Lindsay proved to be.All six of us friends were enraptured by what she was saying, hanging on her every word as were the rest of the people on the boat.We soaked in every fact and detail that effortlessly ran from her mouth, and her enthusiasm for her chosen study of architectural appreciation was palpable.She threw in so many funny and witty comments under her breath that had us on the floor.The way she strung all of the buildings together into an articulate, mesmerizing and entertaining tour was almost like choreography.

By the end of the tour and for the remaining 4 days of the trip, all of our walks through the city and its beautiful buildings had us spewing some fact that we had learned on the tour, as we casually threw in facts about Art Deco and Mies Van Der Rohe into our conversation like nobody's business.I wish I had her for all my lecturers back in college!I would have aced my classes the way I soaked it all in!

While this book is good, the actual tour is amazing.I will never view tours in the same way after this.If you decide to do the tour, don't forget to demand Joan Lindsay - it's absolutely not the same without her!

Praise for "Chicago from the River"
Imagine yourself lazily drifting down a placid river on a perfect summerafternoon, flanked on both sides by towering monuments erected by thearchitechtural geniuses of the ninteenth and twentieth centuries, theirlong shadows passing over you like the ghosts of the men themselves wholabored over the planning, design, building, and occupation of thesepriceless pieces of history.

The sounds of the City surround you and thevoice of your guide is almost an aria illuminating the stories behind thebreathtaking views of some of the greatest architectural accomplishments ofour time in the greatest city of all time...Chicago, Illinois.

Ms.Lindsay's knowlege and enthusiasm, not only of the architechturalimportance of the buildings that line Chicago's famous River, but also forthe nuances of their unique stories, their histories, and the personalitiesof the men who created them is contageous. Before you realize it, you are aconvert to the wonder of this place and the energies and drives that builtit up on the praire.

Ms. Lindsay captures the experience in "Chicagoon the River", through breathtaking photographs which she took overthe course of the thousands of trips she has made from the mouth of theRiver to the south end of the city and back, while illulminating andentertaining many many thousands and bringing to them her appreciation forthis unique viewpoint.

Read the book and then take the tour...experiencethe world's greatest city from a truly unique point of view! ... Read more

Product Description
Detailing both their public and private lives-as well as their many and varied performances-Queens of Comedy examines the impact these women have had on the predominantly male-oriented world of comedy. Performers like Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, and their more recent counterparts, comediennes Brett Butler and Roseanne, have helped to shift women's roles in comedy from object to subject. This book maps out this shift, providing an often brutally honest picture of women's lives in both the spotlight of comedy and this modern world.
Through candid personal interviews with Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, and other visionary performers, Queens of Comedy explores how comediennes have redefined the roles of women in not only the entertainment business, but society as a whole. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Great intro to comediennes
I used this as a textbook for a film class I taught last year and the class loved it.The book contains solid biographical information and it's really fun to read.Plus, author Horowitz offers some very perceptiveinsights into women's comedy.My only criticism is that footnotes wouldhave been really helpful because the students wanted to follow up on someof the sources -- but overall I highly recommend it. ... Read more

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In this remarkable, touching, and timely book--which grew out of a letter to her daughter Melissa--comedienne and talk show host Joan Rivers writes about a series of highly personal but universal subjects, including religion, fate, sex, life changes, the importance of touching and contact, money, trust, love, and death. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Mothers & Daughters will all appreciate this book...
Joan Rivers reveals her soft side. This is a wonderfully simple and unassuming book that reflects a mother's love and concern for her only daughter. It's obvious that she wants a better life for her daughter, andyou can feel the pain that Joan experienced in her own life. A lovely giftfor anyone.

Very Disappointing
Usually love Joan Rivers, but this book is so superficial, actually boring and shallow. Even the graphics are below par.I suspect someone else put this together or Joan was very, very tired when she did this.Save yourmoney.

Boring, trite, a stunning waste of time and paper.
I use this book to level my coffee table.Its worth doesn't go far beyond that.Stay away from this stinker.

Great advice for all.
The book is very well written and gives great advice on interpersonal relationships that can be used in all areas of the family and friendsand definately mother-daughter.I am recommending it to all my friends. ... Read more

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Celebrated as the American Rhine, the majestic Hudson River flows more than three hundred miles from its source high in the Adirondack Mountains to New York Harbor. Lining its banks are the marks of the four hundred years of history that have transpired since Henry Hudson piloted the Half Moon north from New Amsterdam in 1609. Today the river and the surrounding valley are protected as a National Heritage Area by the National Park Service.

This stunning photographic journey explores the Hudson River's historic riverfront towns, stately mansions, public parks, and pristine wilderness. The images follow the course of the river and are paired with writings and poetry by such distinguished writers as Washington Irving, Charles Dickens, and Robert Caro.

First published in a deluxe edition in 1996, this unique presentation is now accessible to all who admire the beauty and power of this magnificent landscape. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

A Wonderful trip Down the Hudson
Great quality photos. Great effort was taken in getting great shots. I love the Hudson River and this book does it justice.

The most wonderful pictoral.....
I have read and grown quite fond of this book, it is the moist in depth, wonderful collection of Hudson River photography I have ever seen ! I highly recommend this book to anyone who would be intrested in a photographic tour of one of the most beautiful and history filled rivers in existance.

SIXTY SMACKERS...!?
Does this book come with a dinner or what? I think i'll check out thepublic library or just sit back and wait for the movie... ... Read more

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Lester Colodny, Joan Rivers & Edgar Rosenberg.Farce.8 m, 3 f.Int.Jill is an up-to-the-minute feminist active in all sorts of causes and whose other feminine endeavors suffer proportionately. She's not much good in the laundry, forgets frozen dinners have to be heated, and has too little time for her romance. Her fiance wants to marry her; she simply declares that in the eyes of God they are already married. Trouble is, he's Italian and her Jewish mother mistrusts Italians. On his way to work one day, as violinist in the Radio City Music Hall orchestra, he is mugged by his cabdriver, and this starts a new series of misadventures in the lives of this pair in Fun City. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Ninety-nine pages, half a joke
The one good thing about this book is that it's a quick read. Imagine the same "this girl is promiscuous" joke repeated ad nauseum in different formats - usually one-line groaners you would imagine hearing from a very bad stand-up comic. After the first page or so, it gets kind of annoying, never mind the other 98 of them.

Don't bother getting this unless you enjoy the same cheap humor repeated until you want to punch the author.

A quick one on the side
The Life and Times of Heidi Abramowitz is a humorous fictional biography of the author Joan River's loose woman alter-ego. With large print, lots of white space, and many drawings by James Sherman, this is really a quick read.

Imagine all the jokes and put downs you have ever heard about loose women. Then imagine that there are three times as many that you haven't heard because they were too bizarre or off-color. Joan Rivers has put all these and more that you could never dream up in this short biographical sketch of her quintessential loose woman Heidi Abromowitz.

Divided into twelve chapters with titles that range from Baby Bimbo to Hooker Housewife, Joan Rivers will introduce you to a wonderful collection of jokes about tramps, tarts, and teasers.

Written at the height of the sexual revolution just before the recognition of the AIDS epidemic, some of the references to penicillin-treatable STDs may seem a bit insensitive by today's standards. While there is much in this book that will be humorous to the liberated reader, there is still plenty to upset the proper reader and the politically-correct.

Oh, that Heidi!
"The Life and Hard Times of Heidi Abromowitz," by Joan Rivers, is the alleged biography of the sexually adventurous woman of the title. The book features illustrations by James Sherman. As comedienne Rivers writes, Heidi was a tramp from day one: "She did things with her pacifier that most women still haven't done with their husbands." The book has a copyright date of 1984, and the Dell paperback is dated 1985. It's good-natured, dirty fun.

The book charts Heidi's sexually promiscuous life from babyhood through elementary school, high school, and adulthood. Rivers covers such milestones as a sex-filled trip to Europe. Interspersed throughout the book are supplements like a page from Heidi's fouth-grade diary, a list of her favorite films (including "Easy Rider" and "Anything Goes"), etc.

Quite a bit of the humor stems from Heidi's tendence to spread sexually transmitted diseases. This is very much a pre-AIDS sex comedy, and the STD related humor may leave a bad taste in the mouth of some readers. Still, the book is entertaining, and Heidi comes off as a likeable free spirit who lives life on her own terms; she may have something in common with HBO's "Sex and the City" women. Besides, how could you not love a woman whose "body has been declared a national recreation area"? If you're in the mood, give "Heidi" a try. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Joan Rivers is hysterical
I read the book many years ago. My granddaughter is expecting and I bought the book for her. She and her hubby are stationed out of state and needed some little bit of guidence since this is her first. The book is very funny and yet it contains timeless common sense for to-be mothers.

Don't have a baby without this book!!!
Having a Baby Can Be a Scream is the cleverest and most useful book on having a baby since Dr. Spock.In fact, it's better because it's written for dummies with a sense of humor.Those who have had babies know how important humor is, otherwise, you'd cry more than the baby.
Joan should republish this book and share it with the next generation of new parents.

Joan Rivers, Having a Baby Can Be a Scream
I was disappointed in this book. I thought it would be funnier but it actually was more informative than anything else. Any one having a baby would enjoy this, I think.

Having a Baby can be a Scream by Joan Rivers
I had a copy of this book when I was pregnant with my first child and absolutely LOVED IT!This was written by Joan at her ultimate best.She covers every embarrassing moment a pregnant woman goes through and finds the humor in it.I loaned my copy out several times to pregnant moms to share the humor, and it finally hasn't found its way home to me and I would love to replace it.If you ever find a copy of this book, snatch it up.It is fantastic.

Her Best Book
Even those who don't like Joan Rivers will love this book!She begins by a lengthy description of her obstretician and the way he makes her arrange her feet in the stirrups.And then (well, Melissa is a grown woman by now) she delves back into her memory bank and delivers the goods in the caustic way her fans have come to love and expect from Joan Rivers.

Don't be put off by rumors of recent plastic surgery. At heart Joan Rivers is a down-to-earth woman with a writing skill that rivals that of the late Erma Bombeck.

By the time you are done, you will have experienced extreme contractions--but of laughter, not pain! ... Read more